An exhausting day.

We began the day talking about the letters for the kids.

When I went to school, I assumed all my homeroom would be back. Except possibly JP. Who I was willing to give another chance to--despite the fact I've said over and over that I was booting his ass.

Well, we had a big two hour powwow in the board room during which we listed all the kids we had reservations about--then we discussed them one by one. There was only one that I voted BOOT on--and that was William. William is a malicious asshole who brags about beating up girls. He takes ZERO responsibility for what he does and is always provoking others until they snap for his own amusement.

William is a prick. I don't ever want to see him again.

I offered to fistfight all comers who wanted to boot James B--but fortunately, everyone else saw improvement too...and he's staying. I was vindicated later in the day when he came around to my room SPECIFICALLY to wish me a good summer and say good-bye. This little punkin wouldn't even GO to his old school, much less speak to any teachers.

James is blooming slowly, but bloom he will.

It turns out that THREE of my punkins got the boot. Damn.

I understand it...and I even agree with the reasons for booting them. JP doesn't come, doesn't call to let you know he isn't coming, comes late, and disappears for extended periods of time. He panhandles everyone for money and cigarettes, has stalkerish impulses with a couple of girls, and may or may not have "liberated" certain items from others.

JC is not sticking to his program--and he got high on graduation day in front of a girl who is struggling hard to maintain her sobriety. JC, in the words of Jay, is a kid who will "carry us or bury us."

When JC is on the right track, he is STELLAR. When he jumps the tracks, he is abysmal. Wherever he is, scores of others watch and immitate him.

Timmy just doesn't get it. Everyone else is always "stupid." He is always an innocent victim of misunderstanding or malice. (according to him). He's been cocky and kind of a bully and he's been getting stupid high with Brent constantly--and not doing his work. Timmy needs to go back to a regular school for 9 weeks so he can see how good it IS in R.O.C.


I put my homeroom into the circle and told them the meeting had been horrible. They all knew something was up, because Inthe faculty rarely barricades themselves in the board room for a couple of hours while the kids are in school.

Here's an aside, though: This speaks to the beauty that is ROC. There were NO ADULTS supervising the kids at all today while the staff met in the board room. NONE. Instead of raising hell or laying around or leaving, the kids dug into the cleaning and scoured the whole building and picked up the parking lot while the teachers met. My Erin, who just had her one year sobriety anniversary, God bless her, railed on Timmy and Jeremiah about tempting Val.

What other school in the universe exists where you can leave the entire student body roaming free for a significant period of time, and have them be where they are supposed to be, doing what they are supposed to be doing?

I'm sure there was a slacker or two--but the bulk of them were on task.

That is the glory and joy of ROC.


Any how--back to the circle. I told them the meeting was atrocious. They knew already. I told them we had four threes in our homeroom. (Ashlee is the other--but she just left and didn't call and didn't return for weeks; it's more like she abandoned ship.)

I started to cry, because I love them, and because I tried so hard all year to perk these little shits up and keep them in ROC. Especially Jeremiah--whom I brought from HELL (aka Triton) with me. He's been up and done and in and out of jail and treatment and all kinds of shit for the last three years. All three years, I have stood up for him, and outright ignored the other faculty when they said "BOOT HIS ASS." He's improved. BUT he's also back slid.

My punkins all hugged me. One after another, they just got up and embraced me. God I love them. And they love each other. We were all crying. Even tough little Asa was red-eyed.

Then we did circle and talked. Jeremiah swore that he would do his nine weeks of penance and be back. "I want you to have a ROC diploma," I told him.

"I will have a ROC diploma," he replied.

Timmy was angry. He didn't say much, but I know he was. JP just broke down and took a run out the door. He came back when he had composed himself.

We talked about next year and what we had to do to get things up and running and better from day one.

We got all our phone numbers and email addresses compiled.

Even though we all felt half sick, we decided to go out to eat together anyway. So we went to Cheap Charlie's which is the biggest dive you ever saw--but the food is good, and it is really CHEAP. I got 2 pancakes, 2 sausage patties, and two scrambled eggs (and a large bottomless iced tea) for less than three bucks. How can you beat that?

JP, Jeremiah, and Timmy didn't come. Carl couldn't come because he had to go get his little brother. Katie came along with Asa, and Dean had to bring Jon and his girlfriend (who goes to Mayo) Donna. It was okay. I bought for all of them.

We had a good conversation--but my head ached so bad from all the crying of the last two days that I left school at about 1:30 pm. I'm sitting on my bed right now, wanting to get all this down--then I'm gonna sleep for a while. I am overwhelmed.

Jay and Mary and Jesse came in and hung out in my room for a while.

Mary came in first, and we cried together over our homeroom kids that we had to boot. She had to boot Rachel and Joey. It's hard. I understand the concept that sometimes they need a hard kick in the ass to get them to wake up--but I HATE to have to deliver it.

While in circle, we really reaffirmed our bound as a group. We've made plans to get together over the summer. We've made plans to include Steve in all of our outings.

BTW--Steve's dad died this morning--so that is over for him.

I'm glad he didn't linger long, since there was no hope.

Poor Steve. He lost his mom when he was 15--now he's lost his dad. He only has one sister and she is far away. I told him I would be his family now too. He is the dearest, sweetest man ever, and it is just a shame that he's both (a) too young for me and (b) gay. hehehehe

I do love him dearly--very dearly as a friend.

*smooch* Steve.

Well, that's all I have to say at the moment.

I'm mentally and emotionally exhausted.

I'm gonna have a nap and hope for some good dreams about unicorns and rocket ships or somethihng.

No more tornadoes.

Now, in addition to replacing Lyndsey and Amanda (and Erin, who will only have to come one hour a day), I'll have to replace JP, Jeremiah, and Tim. SIX new kids in my homeroom! GAH!

I'll still have Dean, Asa, Lisa, Carl, and Megan, thank God.

I'll need three boys and three girls--to keep it even.

That's really it now.

Arg.