chochiyo_sama

Even though I stayed up late last night watching Medium, I got up at 7:30 and began my day. I had hoped to go out for breakfast this morning on my way to school, but I dilly-dallied too long at home and ended up going through the BK drive thru. I only ate have of the biscuit egg and sausage sandwich and less than half of the potato ole looking things that always taste a little sour to me. I threw the rest out the window on a gravel road for the birds and small critters to eat. (I only threw out the food, not the packaging.)

I filled my car with gas in West Concord before going to Kasson where I picked up my prescription for pain meds. From there, I went to BK. I was hoping to get a frozen Diet Coke but they didn't have them. Rats.

I stopped in Byron to pick up the traditional poppy seed muffin treat for my beloved Jaymar. I bought a yummy cream cheese and strawberry jam croissant for myself. They are sticky as can be, but oh, so delicious.

I took the gravel back roads to Rochester. I was about half hour early for my appointment with Jay, so I hung out with Laurie out on the bench in front of school for a while. She is such an amazing person. When I went in, Jay was still meeting with Nick, so I went into the board room and found a book to read--Montana 1948 by Larry Watson., It turned out to be an excellent choice. I read the whole thing today. (175 pages, so not too long.) It has been one of my goals to go back to reading more. Making time to read is important, otherwise life just sucks you along. I've done pretty well lately. In the last few weeks, I have read Cheated by Patrick Jones, The Forgotten Garden by Kate Morton, and Diary of a Wimpy Junior High Kid. Don't remember the author of that one, but it was cute and a very easy and fast read. When I was in high school, I used to read five books a week--at least. It was my goal to read every fiction book in the high school library before I graduated. And with the exception of the Betty Cavana books (which were all the same anyhow), I did. That's how I discovered the Chronicles of Narnia. I read the one with Puddleglum in it first.

My meeting with Jay went well. He thinks I did a great job this year. The two things he wants me to work on are clearing more crap out of my room and rearranging it, and paying more attention to the protocol--making sure to keep no-fly kids in the room and not giving bathroom passes the classes after break and lunch. These things are like non-issues to me, but they get some other teachers' underpants in a bunch. I actually think I did much better on those things this year. I continue to have problems with catching people with their phones--and apparently the little shits are blabbing to other teachers that I "let" them use their phones, which is absolute bullshit. I never let them use their phones. I just don't pay enough attention to where their hands are, because I rarely catch them with phones. When I do, I usually just tell them to put them away rather than taking them. I guess next year I have to make a mad effort to take them right away.

The other thing is that we are going to be teaching to "need" next year, which makes sense to me. Teach the kids the skills they need. I don't really like the thought of teaching to the MCA tests, BUT, hopefully, the things they need to pass the tests are the same things they need to succeed in life. It will be okay. I will find ways to make it fun.

I wanted to go and see the movie Robin Hood after my meeting, but it was at 1:00, and I left school at about 1:47. I could have made it, but I would have had to rush and probably miss the first five minutes. When I go, I want to be relaxed, get a snack, have a little time to settle in, and enjoy all the previews. So, I decided I would get my hair cut instead. It was getting way too long and shaggy. Now it is pretty short, but that is good for summer. Before I got my hair cut, I paid my cell phone bill at Verizon.

After I got my hair cut, I went to Carlos O'Kelly's for lunch. I had my favorite--spinach and mushroom enchilada--but I had the lunch option, which is about half of the dinner portion. It was fine for me--I still got totally stuffed. I had iced tea, despite how much I desired the delicious strawberry mug-o-rita. I had planned to pay bills while waiting for my meal, but first, I had forgotten my stamps and address labels, and second, my meal arrived so rapidly that I wouldn't have had time to write out the bills anyhow. The bill paying will be at the top of my list tomorrow.

From there, I went to Walmart. I bought a few more bags of kitty treats and another $5 24-pack of diet coke. Hard to pass up that deal. I also bought myself a cheap radio/CD player for downstairs. It was only $22. I enjoy listening to Minnesota public radio--and there is no reason I should not enjoy it during the summer. i bought the ingredients to make lasagna--I'll give at least half of that to Jim and DeAnn and Swayze. I also bought Miracle Whip to finish my potato salad and some grapefruits. I love grapefruit.

On the way home, I stopped at the Kasson Kwik Trip so Icould wash my car. I tried to use my debit card, but it was declined, so I had to use my Visa instead. I only had a couple of twenties, so I couldn't do cash.

When I got home, I hauled all my plunder in (except the diet coke, which I will bring in tomorrow) and put the perishable groceries away. I wanted to finish the potato salad and make the lasagna, but I was so hot and tired that I went upstairs. I had to pee anyhow. I figured I would just lie down for a nap, but once I got my pjs on, I messed around on my computer then watched a couple of things on TV and finished the book I was reading. I was so tired, I was sure I would fall asleep, but I didn't.

Now I am ready to turn out the lights and get some sleep.

Tomorrow I really want to clean the kitchen and cook. I want to be up early enough to cook in the cool of the day rather than in the afternoon where everything will be a furnace.

Current Mood: busy
Current Location: bed
Current Music: weather channel talking about cyclones in asia

Go back to regularly posting here. It helps my mental health a lot--even if I don't shake out my dirty little secrets and anxieties and such.

Anyhow--I was listening to NPR, and I got a big charge out of the announcement of the winner of the "Pants On Fire" award (for telling the most bald-faced lie of the year....)

OOOOOH NOOOOOES!!!! If the dirty democratic scum pass the evil health care program everyone over the age of 60 will have to report to DEATH PANELS yearly and submit to committee review of the value of their lives!!!!! Not valuable enough???? STRAIGHT TO THE DISINTEGRATION CHAMBERS!!!!!! (And you KNOW that it will be the freedom loving, God worshipping, Abortion hating, USA-ALL-THE-WAY REPUBLICAN ELDERS who will be vaporized EVERY TIME!!!!!!!)

OMG...you gotta laugh---or else you'd be forced to jam a screwdriver into your temple until it came out the other side.

anyhoo.

I am at school. Came in at about 9 am for a couple of my seniors to finish their papers and presentations. They just left, and I am packing up my stuff to leave too. I got all my correcting done and entered into the computer EXCEPT for my comparison papers of Andersen's "Little Mermaid" and Disney's "Little Mermaid."

After correcting and recording everything, I am feeling distinctly UNCHRISTIAN toward many of my students to whom i gave a work day yesterday--and who sat there yapping the whole time and doing nothing--and now I discover SO EFFING MANY ZEROES IN MY GRADEBOOK!!!

Well, so be it. I will accept NOTHING after Tuesday. If they fail, they have no one to blame but themselves.

Why should I have to stay at school till midnight on Wednesday correcting all their late shit?

Current Mood: irritated
Current Location: school.
Current Music: sound of nothing.

Every morning when i go off to school, this is the last thing I see....gazing at me....with tears in their eyes....

They stand on the top shelf next to the window and watch me walk across the yard. Watch me get into my car. Watch me put it into gear and drive it away. The whole time i am blowing kisses to them and calling out the window, "Momma loves you, babies! Momma loves you!"

Then they turn their little faces away--as if to say, "Your behavior does not match you words, cruel, cruel momma.

I took this picture from the car, on the road that runs past my house. You see he is looking dead straight on at me. :(

Pooor poooooooor Stewie.....left alone with his sisters AGAIN by his mean old mommy.

Current Mood: guilty
Current Location: classroom
Current Music: mop bucket being dragged down the hall

I have been working my way through the pile of "stuff" on my desk, and i am feeling better about it. Most of the issue was just getting everything sorted into piles--then working my way through the stack.

Jay came in to talk to my third hour class today about the behavior on Thursday last week. (Jay was out sick himself Thursday and friday.)

He is so good with the kids. He talked to them about how we are different from other schools because we trust the kids. We give them a million chances to prove themselves trustworthy. Almost all of them prove themselves worthy of that trust. Some "get it" sooner than others--but most of them get to the point where they understand this sooner or later.

He told the story of Sam who was murdered in a driveby the summer before I started teaching here. Sam was a kid who was heavy into gangs in California who had to leave there because there was no chance for him to make a better life for himself in California. there was too much 'history' for him to overcome. So he came here.

In the old building, the door to the store was easy to get to open, even if it was locked. All you had to do was rattle the door knob. Well, one day when Jay went in there, the money was gone out of the cash box. He talked to all the kids about the issue and asked anyone who had any information to chat with him about it.

A while later, Sam came into his office, dropped a wad of bills on his desk and said, 'I took it. It was a temptation i couldn't resist--old habits die hard." then he put his binder on Jay's desk--thinking he'd get expelled for stealing. Jay said, "What are you doing?"

Sam said, "You can't trust me anymore."

Jay said, "Dude. you just proved that we CAN trust you. You brought it all back."

Later, Jay put him in charge of collecting the money for the sweatshirts they were ordering as a fund raiser.

jay said, "In all his short life, Sam never had anyone who trusted him--and we did. That was huge for him."

Then suddenly, Jay choked up and got tears in his eyes--which of course, made me choke up and get tears in my eyes. So we both kept looking at each other and getting more and more teary eyed. Finally i tossed him the box of kleenex and i turned to grab one from my other box.

He said, "I can do this....but I can't look at Cheryl."

i said, "I can't look at you either."

So then he went on with his little speech about how we trusted them. When there are no subs available, and often there are not, we trust them to be on their own in the rooms and do what they are supposed to be doing.

It was a very good bonding experience for all of us.

I am so damn proud to work here. I am so humbled that I was chosen for this wonderful place. And of course, i love Jaymar and all our sweet kids. even when they are naughty, i still love them."

The difference this school makes in kids' lives is HUGE--shoot, the difference it makes in MY life is huge.

That is all.

Current Mood: okay
Current Location: computer lab
Current Music: kids typing and chatting about their entries.

I woke up nauseous AGAIN this morning. If it were not for the fact that it is physically impossible, I would wonder if I were pregnant.

In order for that to happen, my body would have had to spontaneously grown a new uterus and ovaries AND there would be a second miraculous conception in the planet's history. Unless some alien planted its spawn within me while i was unconscious or something.

So, I don't know what is wrong with me. But i am pretty sure people are not supposed to feel nauseated all the time.

I am in such a mess and so disorganized at school that I just want to cry.

I had planned to come in on Saturday after my workshop and tidy up and get all this work corrected, but i woke up feeling horrid and did not go to the workshop. I called Robin and told her that maybe i would come in for the afternoon session, but i went back to sleep and did not wake up until 3:30 pm.

Whatever this illness is, it has been kicking my butt.

hopefully this week, when i get back into a routine with my meds and stuff, things will get better.

Current Mood: frustrated
Current Location: classroom
Current Music: Rachael and Tyler chatting

I probably would have benefitted from another day at home doing not much--but I am at school. I had emails about how horriblely my third hour class behaved--everything from leaving the room to play hackey sack in the gym and hallways to sneaking out the back door to smoke (which everyone I have talked to so far denies). Apparently they were so rude to Laurie and Robin that they cried.

I pulled all of them that were in school this morning into the board room to ask them what they heck happened. Of course, they down played it a lot, but I do believe they were contrite. I asked them all to write what happened up for me so I could understand what went on and would be able to talk to Jaymar about it. I told them I would close their campus for the whole month of february if they didn't write their explanation--i think that is fair.

They all needed to own what they did or did not do.

I am surviving the day--the worst part is over. Now it's just lunch and my last two classes which are pretty good. I am about to take my meds. i haven't eaten anything today, but Laurie gave me some crackers. if I have something in my stomach, i will be able to take the meds and not be sick. I considered driving to Subway and getting some chicken noodle soup, but I don't have any cash, and i don't think they will take a check. i don't want to put SOUP on my credit card.

the pills and a few crackers are down the hatch. now I just have to wait and see if I get really nauseated again. Hopefully not.

What I would really like is some nice chicken and barley stew with some carrots and celery in it. I would also like if it was very brothy--i don't want to have anything too intense in my stomach.

I wrote out my bills (the five that i had sorted out and gotten ready to pay the other day) this morning--but I forgot to swing by the mail drop box and put them in this morning. I had Rachael and Ben put them in the outgoing mail--hopefully I will not get a late charge...and there shouldn't be any danger of my lights or heat being turned off. LOL.

I just got my check from Susan a little while ago. I'll have to get my mail on the way home and write out any new bills that just arrived. i also need to get my income tax crap dealt with so I can get that taken care of as soon as possible.

when i get the refund, i will again pay my property taxes for the whole year right away. I need to figure out how to do bill pay on line. that would be so much easier. And i would spend a lot less money on postage and stuff too. What's left will go on my bills. Though i might pull out just enough to buy the tuscan sun Tulah. I love her and I want her. I have the family she needs to belong to all ready set. :) She will be Grace's little sister. I think I will call her Faith. I need a little sister for Noelle too--I will name her Holly. (Christmas theme.)

Current Mood: weary
Current Location: classroom
Current Music: kids talking about lunches

I have been remiss in dealing with my mail AGAIN. I brought the big bag of mail with me to school today and sorted it out and got the bills ready to mail over my lunch break. Well, they are all stuffed in the appropriate envelope and have the return address labels posted on them. i did not bring stamps to school with me, but i can probably buy a couple from Tracy for the bills that concern me the most so I can drop them in the mail on my way home.

My fuel bill was nearly $300 this time...it was only $134 last time. fucking oil barons.

I guess I shouldn't complain, my sister Kim's fuel bill was like $500.

It really irks me that I had to pay nearly $600 in vet bills, and my cat is dead anyway.......and now i am short of money to pay my bills, and my bills are all extra big this month. I would scream, but what's the point? It would just be a waste of sound and energy.

It is pretty amazing though, that I did not fetch my bills for two full weeks, and I only have five bills....of course, of the five bills, one is $152.85 (phone, internet, and satellite tv), $149 for car insurance, nearly $300 for heating fuel, $30 something for electricity. (I don't use much electricity). And about $300 to pay off my credit card--i had to put $700 on it in November for my car and I had to put over $200 to have my cat put to sleep and cremated. Sigh.

There are always too many bills and never enough money.

It irritates me that my sister who does daycare for 10 kids makes more money than I do. It doesn't irritate me that she gets good money for doing day care, it irritates me that the teaching profession is so underpaid. And really, compared to most people in education--and certainly compared to any OTHER teaching job I have ever had, I am paid pretty well here.

My brother, who works in a prison, makes nearly $30,000 more than I do...and I had already been working for 15 years when he started. That REALLY sucks. Not that I begrudge him his money either. He works hard and is good at what he does. I am angry at a society which undervalues education to this degree.

well, being pissy about it doesn't make it better, so I will just pay what I can and the rest of them will have to wait till I get paid again.

sigh sigh sigh.

Tonight, I will post pictures of doll clothes i finished at my mom's this weekend. They are really cute.

Current Mood: disgruntled
Current Location: computer room
Current Music: the faint sound of music from kids' headphones and the clickety click of keys

At about 8 pm, Cody, one of my homeroom kids called me and asked if school was closed for tomorrow--that Tanner had called him and said it was closed. I said, "I haven't heard anything about it." Then I had him hang on while I called Susan on my cell and asked her. She said she had heard nothing. So, I told Cody i would call him back if I heard anything. I turned on KTTC, and surprise, surprise, school closings and late starts were scrolling across the bottom--and our school came up as one of them!

So, I called Cody back and let him know that we were closed, then I called all the kids in my homeroom and let them know. I don't want them walking to school in the awful frozen winter weather.

So far, 33 area schools are closed for tomorrow and 6 have late starts.

I'm glad we called tonight because now I can sleep in tomorrow. Ahhhhh. I really wanted to sleep in today, but I had to get up and go.

School went okay. I made some hot chocolate when I got to school and it made me feel really sick. My stomach rolled and ached for over an hour. Then I went down to the teacher's bathroom and puked. I felt much better afterwards.

We were supposed to have a board meeting at 5:30 pm, but we cancelled it because it was so freaking cold. I was very happy to be able to come home while it was still light out.

It is -16 right now, and tomorrow we are supposed to have -40 to -50 wind chills. BRRRRR.

I'm glad I don't have to go out in it. I'm going to stay snug and warm in my house. I'll finish my laundry and maybe bake some cookies for Jim and DeAnn since Jim blew out my driveway, God bless him.

I'm really tired, so I think I am going to hit th hay for the night.

***YAWN***

Current Mood: tired
Current Location: bedroom
Current Music: CSI New York

Rachael is the first to hang her coat on the new coat rack.

Nick admires (and perhaps ENVIES) the new coat rack.

Ryan's reward for putting up the coat rack is a Do-It-Yourself Lobotomy from Rachael. It doesn't help to be lobotomized to teach...but it doesn't really hurt either....:LOL

This is my cat Komet. She's a geriatric cat. But she is still my baby.

She has the sweetest little paws. Some of her little toe pads are pink, but others are gray. Just like her nose--it's pink and gray. Looks like she's got mud on her little nose. But, that's just the way it is.

Here are the back toesies. I just love to rub them with my fingers, but she is not a fan. LOL.

I was working on my afghan this morning--but SOMEONE wouldn't leave the yarn alone. Her idea of "helping" is chewing the yarn until it breaks. So, I put it all away. That's my leg in the foreground, with the beginning of my new afghan lying across it. I bought that blue yarn on sale ages and ages ago. It is such a beautiful color--very bright and cheerful.

Current Mood: weary
Current Location: bed
Current Music: CSI, special victims

I survived the first week of school after Christmas vacation--and it went quite well until yesterday...well, yesterday went quite well until the end of the day. Drew and Cody were standing just outside the door of my classroom talking to Jonah and someone else. I don't remember who. Anyhow, I was repeatedly yelling at them, "Guys, get into the room!" "Guys! In the room. NOW." Usually they come in after me asking them two or three times.

Well, this time they just blew me off completely. I must have asked them 20 times to come in the room. I SHOULD have gone to the door and yelled at them and told them to get their asses into the room. But, it was Friday--I was tired and burned out--I had other kids at my desk yakking at me. I just continued to yap at them every so often to get into the room and they continued to blow me off.

Apparently there were bunches of kids in the halls. Robin was gone, so her homeroom was likely on the prowl. Cecelia was gone, but I think she had a sub. I think there was at least one other teacher gone. According to Susan, Jesse and Ryan's kids were running up and down the hallway. Anyhow, Jay came out, saw all these kids in the hallway, got pissed, and went room by room, yelling at kids and teachers both.

When he got to my room, he told my kids to get out of the hall. Then he yelled, "I -will fucking write your homeroom teacher up if you can't keep your asses in the room!"

He went down the hall yelling pretty much the same thing into each homeroom.

Then I scolded my kids. I said, "Thanks a lot. It isn't like I didn't ask you 87 times to get in the room. Now *I* am in trouble because *YOU* couldn't keep YOUR asses in the room."

Shortly after the kids left, Jay came around saying, "Board room, five minutes," which basically means everyone is getting their ass chewed.

And that's exactly what happened. Jay said that if we didn't have all our homeroom kids INSIDE our home room, with our doors SHUT, he'd write us up.

Now, I don't really give a shit about being written up. What does it mean, really? that there will be a note in my personnel file saying that my kids were in the hallway during homeroom? Not an issue, really.

BUT--i adore Jay--I worship the ground he walks on, truly. he is a gift to education, a gift to those kids, and a gift to me. To have been a disappointment to him KILLS ME. kills me.

I was so emotionally saddened by it, that I had to go sit in the faculty bathroom for about ten minutes until I was sure I wasn't going to start bawling like a fucking baby.

I forced myself to eat a hot dog when i got home from school so I could take my meds, then I went to bed. At 5:30. And I spent most of today in bed too. i just didn't have the will to get up until about 1 pm.

Ah, life.

what kills me the MOST is that IF THOSE DANGED KIDS HAD LISTENED TO ME, I would not have been in trouble at all, and neither would they. but NOOOOOO. Sigh.

I know they were just kids being kids. But they need to learn to THINK. They could All have stepped into my room and continued to talk. The others might have been in trouble for leaving their own homeroom, but not as much as they wouldn't have been out in the hallway where NO ONE is supposed to be during homeroom.

Current Mood: sad
Current Location: living room
Current Music: some sappy lifetime movie.

We are halfway through the week already--wow. Time is going fast. It won't be long before this quarter is DONE, and that will end the first half of the school year. It is hard to comprehend.

Time is going too danged fast. I'm going to lose some really good kids (via graduation, which is a good way to lose them, I guess) this year, and my heart is already starting to ache for them....

I will survive. But I will miss my babies.

Sigh

Well, I got a lot of crap done at school today. My whole desk was covered with an assortment of shit--papers, stuff needing to be filed, stuff needing to be corrected, and just a variety of crap. While the kids worked on their assignments, I sorted through all that crap and clutter on my desk. I got all but a small pile of stuff dealt with. I should be able to deal with the rest of it tomorrow, even though I will be stuck doing breakfast, break, and lunch. It isn't really hard to do this, and I enjoy bs-ing with the kids, but it hurts my knee (and my back BECAUSE OF my knee) to stand for so long.

After school tomorrow I have to meet with Jay and Robin for the mid-year English department evaluations. Robin is not really certified to teach English. Her certification is in Reading. There are times when I really wish there was another certified English teacher on staff so we could brainstorm some classes to offer and ways to improve writing skills. . But, mostly things go okay.

Because it is Wednesday, the kids got released just before noon. The teachers cae together in the board room for the Wednesday meeting. It went well--thing progressed quickly and we were done by 2:00 or so. I looked up the website for Cinemagic and discovered that The Day the Earth Stood Still was on at 2:40.

I have been wanting to see that movie since I heard it was being made, even though I expected it to fall far short of the original. Well, it was not as good as the original, but it was far better than I expected; So, I enjoyed it.

GORT was cool. I'd love to have a defender of the universe like him. LOL

well, I have a few pictures.

The first is a picture of my new bedspread. I love how dainty and fresh it looks.

Next I have a couple of photos of Josue with DeAnn and Jim. He was in too rapid of motion for me to catch his face either time, but he was in very rare form. Busy as a bee.

Jim made a big bowl of popcorn, and Josue LOVES popcorn--though eventually most of it ended up on the floor. LOL.

And my last picture is of the adorable red polka-dot shirt I made for Dave Kelley's granddaughter. She gets the doll modeling it as well. I finished off a pair of striped bib overalls to go with it--but I have to sew on snaps and buttons for the straps.

That's it for tonight. I keep dozing off as I am typing, and that is NOT a good thing.

Current Mood: weary
Current Location: bed
Current Music: nothing

Well, the "New Year" has started in earnest now. I am back at school. The day was quiet and went by pretty quickly. I threw together a turkey and mustard sandwich for lunch and a roast beef sandwich for breakfast. I didn't plan ahead, so I was sort of "deer in the headlights" this morning getting ready for school.

Tomorrow will be somewhat better as I put my oatmeal together and have it ready to mix with water in the microwave in the morning. I also have my tea cup ready for some good ginger spice tea. I did not get my lunch packed, which is something that works out better for me if I do it ahead of time. However, I have some baked chicken and rice which turned out really good when I put in carrots. I had it for supper tonight and it was quite tasty. A little salty, which must have been the result of putting in too much soy sauce, but it has a nice flavor any how.

The one thing I did not get done over Christmas vacation was the correcting that I had to do. I put my shoulder to the wheel today and powered through most of it at school today. I have just a few things left, and I brought thme home with me tonight, but didn't get to them.

When I got home, I sat down in my chair a while and just relaxed and petted the cat. Then I ate some potato chips that were left over from New Year's Eve. After that I cleaned up the kitchen, heated up the chicken and rice hot dish, took my supper time meds, did the dishes, and cleaned the cat box. Wooo.....hot times!

I decided I would go upstairs and play Sims for an hour or so, then correct the papers I had brought home with me tonight. Well, I fell asleep instead. I woke up about 20 minutes ago, and figured it was too late to correct anything now. I brushed my teeth, laid out my clothes for tomorrow (which also makes the morning go much smoother), and took my bed time meds.

I really want to work on eating healthier (and saving money) by not eating fast food anymore. Now that the main areas of my house are clean, I really want to work on KEEPING them clean. I forgot to get the last load of laundry out of the dryer tonight, and now I am upstairs and am NOT going all the way to the basement to get them now.

The big thing I want to accomplish tomorrow (in addition to getting the laundry up and put away) is clearing off my dining room table. The whole downstairs looks junky when that thing is a mess. Also, I have four big bags of garbage to haul to the curb tomorrow. Ugh.

Not much else on my mind today.

The parking lot and sidewalk at school today were HORRIBLE--just a sheet of ice. I sure hope that is not going to be in that condition for the rest of the winter. I will by a bag of cat litter and pour it all over the parking lot myself, if something isn't done.

At some point, someone gave me a little book called Daily Reflections for Highly Effective People. I have had it for several years, and I have decided it is probably time to read it. I started today, and caught myself up to January 5. The little readings are short and to the point.

In the readings I read today, this one quote stood out: "If we want to change a situation, we first have to change ourselves." That really rings true to me. I am trying to change myself by being more proactive about things that will make my life run more smoothly.

Well, it is now almost 10 pm. I didn't have any thrilling adventures of any kind today (other than cleaning out the litter box), so there isn't much of note to talk about.

Current Mood: okay
Current Location: bed
Current Music: computer hummmmmmm

Though I truly feel a sense of contentment at the length of my Christmas vacation, I am not happy to see it end. I was able to accomplish all the things I truly wanted to get done during the Christmas break. I didn't get to any of the "extras," but I did get all the rooms that I "live" in clean. The kitchen, living and dining rooms, bedroom, bathroom, and hallway look very good. The laundry is done. I have a good amount of groceries stock piled.

Now, I will work on maintaining everything.

I did three loads of laundry today, and put all the clean laundry away. There is one load still in the dryer--I will have to take care of that tomorrow.

I ran the vacuum over the dining room again, just to suck up any little bits of stuff that migrated in there after the vacuuming yesterday, and then I did a good job on the living room.

I didn't much feel like it, but I scrubbed the bathroom floor and the hallway upstairs too. The rugs were all washed, so I laid them down in the bathroom and the kitchen and the bedroom doorway. It smells clean in the house. I wish I could just sit and enjoy the cleanliness tomorrow instead of going to school.

Ah, well....

The end of the quarter is rapidly approaching, and when the quarter ends we will be half done with the school year. Wow. It has blasted past!

Soon it will be summer vacation again, and then I can get some serious work done again. I hope to keep plugging away at the little tasks I have set myself. I worked on the doll clothes for Dave Kelley's granddaughter today. I finished a sweet little red dotted shirt and almost got a pair of multi-color striped bib overalls done. I should be able to finish them tomorrow.

Not much else is new.

I'm gonna try to get some sleep as I have to get up early tomorrow. Bleah. That's the part that's really going to suck---getting up at 5:30 am again.

nooooooo

DO NOT WANT!!!!!!

Current Location: bedroom
Current Music: nothing

I went to the Orthopedic guy (Dr. Barnes) and got another shot of cortizon--but only in the left knee. The right knee is okay.

That freaking NEEDLE IS HUGE. It hurt, but not much. It didn't make me want to scream, cry, or run away. I think he put more goop into my knee this time as it felt really full--like there was a lot of stuff pushed into a very small opening in my knee. I think I bled more this time too--not a lot--but a good drizzle of blood coming out of the big puncture in my knee.

While I was in the waiting room, one of the nurses investigated my sewing box and looked at all the little outfits I had cut out in there. She asked how much I would sell barbie clothes for. I may have to work on sewing up some, even though I do not especially enjoy sewing for adult dolls. I like sewing for the children much better.

I could use a few extra bucks to put towards bills and also towards some of my OWN doll wants--I want more shoes for my Tonner and Kish and LeAnn dolls!!

I went to school after that--I stopped and got a chicken strip basket at DQ for lunch. I wanted some Chinese food---all day I wanted Chinese food. Sigh.

IF I roust out tomorrow and go to Owatonna for groceries, I may swing by the chinese restaurant and get me some good Chinese buffet.

*drool*

Before I went to school, I went through the Subway drive thru and got myself a couple of bottles of diet coke. Then I went by the post office and dropped off all the bills I wrote out yesterday. Sigh. I freaking HATE bills. *wah*

I was pleased by the number of kids who showed up at school--Sami, Kirstin, Dani, Jessica (and her baby boy, Connor), and Corrie. They worked very hard. Three of them are almost done with their research papers which was both good and bad. It was good in that I was able to proof read their papers for them--but BAD in that Idid not get time to do ONE THING that I brought with to amuse myself with. Sigh.

Corrie needed a ride downtown afterwards, so I didn't hang out at school any longer. I had sort of intended on hanging out at school a bit then going to a movie afterwards--but, it began snowing fiercely at about 2:15. It was so intense, it was like being in a snow globe--HUGE fluffy flakes.

I decided my best bet was to go home. I gave brief thought to stopping for Chinese take out, but I knew I had pizza and chicken drummies at home, so I came home and ate them.

When I got home, there was a box hanging from my door--it turned out to be the red velvet vintage angel I bought for my mom. I'll take a picture of it and post it tomorrow. It is cute. Needs a good cleaning, though.

I didn't do much else when I got home--Talked to Lisa on the phone and played a little Sims. That's about the extent of my exciting evening.

Now, I am going to bed fairly early as I want to go grocery shopping tomorrow. I need to get something a little snazzy for my new year's eve quiet, contemplative night at home.

I'd really like to get a very small bottle of asti. I love that stuff.

We will see how it goes, I guess.

Tomorrow I have several issues I need to address....

Wash clothes
vacuum and dust LR and DR
pick up clutter in LR and DR
sweep and scrub kitchen floor
vacuum and scrub bathroom floor and hallway
get groceries
put fresh bedding on the bed.
water the plants
wash dishes
tidy counters and tables in kitchen
clean out freezer in kitchen

This is why I have to roll out of bed in the morning and get an early start. If I get to Owatonna early enough in the morning, I can beat the rush. I hate having to compete with dozens and dozens of other people in a store. Especially when I am crippled up. I won't feel as dumb riding around in one of those little cart deals if I am basically alone in the store.

sigh

okay--that's it for tonight.

Tomorrow night I will no doubt post my long list of hopes, dreams and goals for 2009 as well as my gratitudes and accomplishments of 2008.

Love to all--especially my sweet peas.

Current Mood: contemplative
Current Location: bed
Current Music: nothing

We have started off the day well, i guess. No one is bleeding or crying, so life is good.

we did have one small bit of drama. my secret Santa had left a present on my desk--a bag of m&ms and a glass jar in the shape of a christmas tree. i poured the m&ms into the jar, and kids have been snacking on them all morning.

Brooke came in, saw the jar, and asked if she could have some. "Sure," I said. So, she took a small handful and ate them. A few minutes later, she came in announcing that she was "such a dumb ass." Then she told us that she wasn't supposed to be eating anything today as she had surgery at 10:45 on her feet. I told her she had to tell the doctors, but she said she has waited forever for this surgery, and her feet hurt. (It's for a bunyon).

so, we compromised by her agreeing to call the nurse hotline and ask what's the worst that would happen. Well, she was on hold for 10 minutes or so there, so i told her to hang up and we would call my friend Kim in South Carolina who is a nurse.

i put Kim on the phone with Brooke, and she had a good chat with her. Kim is a good person. Brooke listened well to what Kim had to say.

I hope she will confess to her doctor what she ate. it was only 5-10 m&ms, but who knows how that would affect a surgery?

My feet have been freezing for a week in my school room, so today I am wearing two pairs of socks. My feet are warmer, but they still aren't snuggly warm as I would like them to be.

Sigh.

Not much else new yet. It is my day to serve in the store, which i hate, as my knee hurts so bad when I am standing for any length of time. I took a couple of tylenol a bit ago. Hopefully that will help.

Probably because there is a weather system moving in again, my knee is aching. that sucks.

Current Mood: in pain
Current Location: classroom
Current Music: noise from the hallway

I called the Saturn dealership, and they gave me the price for my car repairs. Only 139.48. Much less than I thought it would be. I was even able to pay by check so I didn't have to add it to my credit card debt.

(I will most likely have to pay my Hu Hot bill on my credit card as I don't think they take checks and i am pretty sure I won't have enough cash to cover it.)

I will only be paying for six of my kids, since one is on a family vacation and another doesn't want to go, and myself of course. It will be $8.89 per lunch. I think beverages are extra. I'd appreciate it if they would buy their own beverages, but I suppose most of them will not bring money. That's the way it usually goes.

My knee is starting to ache again. it must be that it does this whenever a weather system is rolling in. Sigh.

It's supposed to start snowing tomorrow around 5 pm. And according to the Yahoo weather thingy, it isn't supposed to stop until Saturday. Ugh.

Normally I'd be rejoicing if we were looking at a snow day on the last day of school before Christmas vacation, but with the Bolshoi trip hanging in the balance...well....let's just say I am NOT rejoicing.

Ooooh....more good news. Kim and Ryan went to pick up my car for me as they are aids and I have been in class. I asked Kim to check for my camera and it was there!!! Yay!!!!

It is also colder than billy hell, so I am sure the batteries are doornail dead now. Sadness. Maybe Susan has a couple of AA batteries she would let me buy.

I can at least take pictures of my kids having lunch.

Current Mood: feet are FREEZING
Current Location: classroom
Current Music: random hallway noises.

Have you ever needed a root canal? You know how the tooth affected aches and aches and aches??

Well, that is what my fucking KNEE is doing right now. i need better pain meds. Or an amputation. this is fucking ridiculous.

And of course, because I am in such pain and want to physically rip my leg from my body, the kids are helpfully being loud and lazy and obnoxious. I am maintaining my good nature with them, but it is in fact all a sham as I just want to kill everyone and then myself, because why should the world go on without me in it? LOL. Not really.

And in other happy news---my car didn't want to start very bad this morning. it did that rr--rr--rrrrrr thing instead of turning over right away. Butl it did start and i let it warm up for about 10-15 minutes. When i got to school, I turned over my spare set of keys to Susan as she had a doctor's appointment at the clinic. i had to turn off the car to get my school keys out of the ignition. When Susan tried to start the car, it wouldn't start. It just made a click-click-click noise. So, it is sitting next to the sidewalk at school--I had to wait until the kids' break time to call about it. I called the Saturn dealership as that's where Susan takes her car to be fixed. I had spoken to them before, and they had said they would work on any kind of car.

So, now i have to wait for about a half an hour, and Lucas M will give me a jump start (if it will jump start). Then either he or someone else will follow me to the car dealership and give me a ride back to school.

Mom says there is a massive snow storm headed our way today. The weather watch site says 1-2". What's up with that? i would not mind going home early today. Oh, God, I would LOVE to go home early. But a measley 1-2" ain't gonna do a thing to get me home early.

And without a car, I'm basically fucked anyhow.

Well, Susan said we could take the school van. Or, I bet Ray or Jesse would run us home. They both live in one of the next towns over from West Concord. I really wanted to stop at the theater in Kasson on my way home to buy a gift certificate to the movie theater there for a Christmas gift. And i would also like to stop at the dollar store to get another Christmas stocking for my one of my homeroom kids. I should have just bought an extra one to begin with, but I wasn't sure Rachael was coming back before Christmas vacation. I have missed her. She is really a sweet kid.

If all goes well tomorrow, my homeroom will being going out for lunch at Hu Hot, which is a stir-fry grill. It is very very delicious, and you can go back for as many refills as you want. It will be really good for the kids--especially the boys who are basically just bottomless pits when it comes to food.

I hope my car is fixed quickly. i hate being carless.

GRRRR. I just spent over $700 on that damned car. Maybe it is time for a new one.

Current Mood: crabby
Current Location: classroom
Current Music: Deonta' giggling and shaking his bootay

Today was just another example of how my life can go horribly awry without much warning.

First, I was driven to hit the snooze about 8 times this morning rather than get up and get going. I was tired. I wanted to stay in bed all day.

Susan called and told me that Brad's ( her husband) cousin had passed away, so she had to drive on her own. That was okay with me as I intended to stay late at school today to get all my correcting done before the weekend.

Anyhow, I decided I would check out Burger King which just reopened in Kasson--I remember when I first started teaching in Rochester, I would swing through Kasson to get breakfast there all the time.

Well, I got a breakfast biscuit--sausage, egg and cheese and whatever those little potato things are that they have. It was so frigging cold that I got a cup of coffee too--to drink coffee, I have to have a lot of cream and sugar in it to cover up the nasty coffee flavor

I ate it and took my meds when I got to school, then started doing battle with the stupid server which kept booting me off. I didn't think the sandwich or the potato thingys were very good. Both things had a weird texture. I threw about half of the sandwich away, but I had to eat something so my meds would not make me sick.

The server issues were making me insane. I input grades and then made print outs for the kids only to discover that their grades did not save to the grade program. The server would just boot me off--randomly and without warning. The only way I could get back onto the server was to restart my fucking stupid computer and resynchronize. Well, that takes about ten minutes every time.

My midquarter grades were due yesterday, but I couldn't get my grade program to function like it should have. I said the "eff" word three times in my first two classes today (being sure to put my quarters in the F-Bomb Bear each time). The kids giggled. One was being kind of nasty because he did the work and the grade wasn't showing up. Missy H. said, "Why don't you shut up? Can't you see it isn't her fault and she is as frustrated as you are."

LOL.

My kids. I adore them.

So, that was emotionally upsetting as I hate it when things do not work as they are supposed to work. GRR.

My stomach felt queasy and kind of yucky, but not bad. I thought a rolaid or two might do the trick, but I was so busy trying to get the grade issues sorted out that I didn't take the time to eat them. Perhaps if I had things would have not gone quite so bad.

My whole second and third hours were wasted by me trying to get that fucking thing to do its job, and the kids checking their print outs against their corrected work. Several of them had to bring their work back up to me to be re-entered for the third or fourth time.

Senior sem went okay except I had to nag quite a bit for kids to stop fooling around and get to work. We had the mobile lab, and half of those computers would not hook up to the server, saying the domain was not available which was bullshit, as all the other computers WERE hooking up to the server. Damned fucking piece of shit server. Jesse (our tech guy--a sweet and wonderful man) swears it isn't the server, but *I* think it IS.

While the seniors worked, I sorted through all the crap on my desk, looking for any papers that might have gotten misplaced. As I did this, i filed what needed to be filed rather than having to go through yet another pile later. I actually got my desk looking almost neat.

It won't last.

My stomach was feeling worse and worse as senior sem went on. It was feeling crampy and nasty, and my back was starting to hurt.

At the very end of senior sem, Kristine J (who graduated last year) came in. I was so thrilled to see her as I haven't seen her in ages, and I love her to pieces. She was in my home room. So, we talked a bit and she talked with some of the current crop of seniors. After they filed out, she was telling me all about college and how she got an A in her English class, which made me so proud.

But as she talked, all I could think of was, "I am going to throw up any second." You know how your saliva glands flood your mouth just before you puke so that you don't choke on it? Well, that was happening...and I thought I might end up having to puke in the waste basket at any moment.

Finally, I told her I had to take the mobile lab back to storage and go to the bathroom before I peed my pants (which I also had to do, pee that is). So we walked down the hall together talking--Ryan snagged her up and talked to her, and then she went to talk to Renee. I got the keys from Tracy and put the computers away, and talked to another kid who had some questions about her paper.

I went into the staff bathroom, thinking if I could just puke, I'd feel better. I wanted to with every fiber of my body, but I just couldn't. I was having major cramps and stomach spasms by this time, and so I told Tracy I was sick and needed to go home.

I went back to my room and wrote some instructions on the board for my last two classes, packed up my stuff, and grabbed the ice cream bucket I had under my desk (left over from someone's demonstration speech). Good thing I did too.

I couldn't puke when I was at school--but I had no trouble at all puking in the ice cream bucket while stopped at the 19th street stop lights--nor going down 19th street with cars on each side of me--nor stopped at the stoplights on Highway 22. Nor several times going the back roads through Oxbow and Mantorville.

I had to stop and empty the bucket out a couple of times, and I had the window open to blow away the fumes and give me cold air to breathe, which seemed to help.

I was worried about getting puke all over my car, but the only thing that got puked on was my hoodie. Ugh.

I was so miserable, I didn't think I could make it. But, I did, and I even went through the drive through of the bank and put my paycheck in and got cash for my nieces and nephew's Christmas presents.

When I got in the house, I sat in my chair for a few minutes, just to recover my equalibrium. Then I crawled upstairs, stripped off my clothes, washed my face, and went to bed. I slept until about 4 pm when Susan called, thinking I might still be at school, to advise me to go home as it was sleeting and the roads were getting slippery. After talking to her, I went back to sleep and slept until Lisa called me. I don't know what time that was, but it was about 7:30 when we stopped talking.

I called Jim and DeAnn to let them know I was sick. We had talked about getting together today after school, but my puke-athon made that impossible.

Apparently little Swayze had his picture taken with Santa today--too cute. I can't wait to see it.

My stomach is still making some rumbling and growling noises, like a feral animal is threatening an attack, but the awful cramping and back ache is gone. I'm horrifically thirsty but am afraid to drink anything for fear of more puking.

I sure wish I had some ginger ale. Maybe tomorrow I can get some.

Well, that's the exciting event progression of my day.

I kindly refrained from taking any pictures of the puke bucket. Even though you know I like to chronical my life in pictures as well as words.

bleah.

Current Mood: lethargic
Current Location: bed
Current Music: quiet except for the beast growling in my stomach

These are my pictures from our school Thanksgiving celebration.

Above is Nevaeh sleeping on my sweater. She is the sweetest, most darling little thing!

Here is a shot of some of the kids eating the Thanksgiving feast that was provided to us at a good discount from the Canadian Honker restaurant. It was delicious.

On the left is Ben, who is brilliant and incredibly amusing. He's a D&D mastermind. Across from him is Jessica, who is an intelligent and sweet girl. to her right is Liz, another adorable punkin.

The closest one to the camera is Doug, to his right is "Shane the Pain" and to HIS right is "Special Eddie." LOL. Those are Doug's nicknames for them. They fit remarkably well--but they are all sweet kids too. Shane and Blake ("Eddie" is Blake's LAST name) are the ones that roam the hallways making wookie noises that sound like shrieks of agony OR perhaps mating calls.

This is my plate--the meal was excellent--slabs of moist delicious turkey, tangy cranberry sauce, mashed potatoes and dressing with gravy, and made-from-scratch buns. They had a variety of diet beverages and water as beverages as well. Later, pumpkin pie with whipped cream was served.

Shane and Blake after consuming their meal. You can see the remnants of Doug's pumpkin pie in the lower right corner.

Jessica and Dawntaya enjoying their pumpkin pie. If the flash had just gone a second later, you would have seen Taya with her face covered in whipped cream--well, her mouth anyhow. She looked so dang adorable. LOL. Like a little kid caught in the act. I got the giggles and laughed so hard I thought I might pee my pants.

Laurie, one of our special ed teachers, had put together a great slide show to celebrate what we are thankful for--it was pictures of the kids at school, doing what they do. There was a shot of me looking really repulsively enormous at my desk. Ugh. Here we have Josh and Joey getting set to view the show.

Here are Rachael and Ben. Rachael is a big goofus. You can't help but love her. Ben is a great kid. I'm sad that he came to us as a senior--we hardly get to enjoy him before he will leave us. I think it is incredibly sweet that he and Rachael have connected.

There's a slightly more mushy pose--but Rachael still looks a little psychotic. She is NOT psychotic. LOL. She just occasionally gives off that impression. But, oh, what a loveable little nut she is.

Our administrator, Jay, who is a delight in every conceivable way. He has such an enormous and loving heart for these kids--and everyone that is in his realm of influence.

He had written a "rap" which he read while wearing another kid's hat backward. It was cute. If I can, I'll get a copy of it and post it up.

He's pretty talented at writing poetry that appeals to the kids. It's funny and serious at the same time.

We all love Jay...

Current Mood: okay
Current Location: mom's basement
Current Music: CSI

First, here is my sweet little Komet on Sunday night. I had been at my mom's for two nights, and she just couldn't snuggle tight enough to me. My baby girl missed her mommy. She wormed her way in between my sewing box and my big crate-o-pills and my body.

Next we have one of my homeroom babies--Drew. I was heading down to the board room to make some copies of some evaluation sheets so I could correct up all my papers today before I go home for Thanksgiving break, and DREW came around the corner. it was 7:45. Usually, Drew comes dragging in about 8:20 or so. I said, "Drew--you're here ALREADY? It--it's EARLY." Then I clutched my chest and gasped, "Call 911." LOL.

Cody came into homeroom with something very sweet tucked into his coat....His new puppy, Nevaeh (Pronounced Niv AY uh.)

Jay happened by and had to hold and love on her a bit. Her ears are the cutest things EVER.

and here is Cody himself with his little girl. Cody is also in my homeroom, and a very sweet child.

Now the next adventure--the seniors in my senior seminar class are now doing demonstration speeches. Sammy P did ice cream sundaes. the kids LOVE it when one of them does a demonstration involving food because then they get to EAT it. LOL.

Here the little sweetpeas are, digging in:

Here you see Eryn, Deonta', and Sami, creating the quintessential ice cream sundae.

Sami serving up a sundae.

Diego was slated to do his demonstration of how to make a Mexican custard cake, but he forgot his eggs and cream cheese. So he is going to demonstrate on Monday next week. We ate the cake today, though. lol.

Doug pronounced the cake delicious, indeed.

Current Mood: sugar high
Current Location: classroom
Current Music: Shane speaking 'wookie'

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Another Fiendishly Productive Day

My New Year's resolution---

The GUILT....The GUILT....

feeling more organized

ugh...I am thinking a visit to the doctor may be in order.

Though I probably should not be, I am at school.

Bills suck.

No School Tomorrow.

A New Coat Rack

In trouble at school....

"Hump Day"

First day back at school.

The Very Last Day of Christmas Vacation....

Second to the last day of 2008

Thursday.

Better News...

Unbelievable Pain....

Just another of my many talents....

More Thanksgiving stuff from school.

sweet babies and other adventures