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The highlight of my day was perfectly poaching two eggs for my breakfast and eating them with toast and orange juice. That was delicious. And thank God I did it as it gave me the strength to face the rest of my day. Which sucked.
Today, I posted on my facebook status that it would have been better if I had been shot in the face rather than booted from ROC, and I meant it.
Steve Ross came back here today and had absolutely no good news for me at all. In fact, all the news he had for me was devastatingly horrible.
First, the thing with the house--it is a complete fucking mess. If I allow things to continue as they are, I will have to pay income tax on every cent those kids pay in house payments, utility bills, taxes, and insurance...because *I* own the house...even though not a single penny of that money is going into my pocket. Also, if I am not living there, I lose the homestead credit, which will phenomenally increase the taxes. And if the fucking government finds out what we have going on, I will be subject to an enormous fine because what we are doing is illegal.
He told me it would have been better for me to walk away from the house. He told me I either had to kick those kids out of the house and then walk away from it, or get them to buy it, which I can't see happening, because both of them have bad credit...and so do her parents. I don't know anything about HIS parents.
For the first time today, I feel like it was a terrible mistake to leave Triton. It was hell. I was miserable. Brett Joyce was the biggest fucking asshole that ever lived and he hated me and would do anything to make me even more miserable...but I had tenure...and if I didn't kill him or myself, I would have survived to reach the rule of 90.
There was other shit too, but I haven't the strength to record all of it.
Steve was very nice and sympathetic about it. He had been through similar experiences when he taught at Waseca vocational Technical College (which is not a federal prison for women--and my brother Jack works there.) They cut hm loose and hired two cheaper teachers in his place. Loyalty from employers is a thing of the past--yet they still expect complete loyalty and compliance and self-sacrifice from their workers.
As soon as he left, I went down to the basement, texted Laurie (whose daughter is one of hte kids in my house) to call me asap), and then called TRA to see if there was ANY thing at all that could be done with my situation. The chick on the phone was completely without compassion--agreed with me blithely when I said, "So, in fact, I have options, but they all suck." Also made a twittery little noise of amused agreement when I said, "So you're telling me I would have to live on air for over 4 years, waiting to age into the rule of 90." And again when I said, "So it would have been preferrable to have been shot in the face rather than let go?"
At that point, I truly WANTED to shoot myself in the face. I wanted to just BE DEAD.
All those fucking years YEARS of working my ass off--commiting every ounce of my energy to my job and my kids...and THIS is my return? Chuckled at and tossed in the gutter?
Yes, yes, I have had lots of messages from parents and former students telling me how LOVED I am and how much GOOD I have done in the world...and that is all very wonderful and pleasant to hear...but it ain't gonna pay for my fucking diabetes meds, is it? I isn't going to put food on the table, gas in the tank, or shoes on my feet.
Steve also told me that it would take about 2 years to get approved for disability IF...IF...it was granted to me. "It's almost impossible to get," he informed me.
So, after I hung up on the bitch from TRA I cried.
I seldom cry--not for myself--but I cried for quite a while, in frustration, despair, and hopelessness.
Then I went on line and applied for unemployment benefits. I called the school--Tracy, as I knew Susan was out for medical reasons--and left a message asking that she check the master contract and let me know what my exact salary was last year. She never called back. I had called Chris who was our major negotiator in hopes he would have a copy of the master contract, but he didn't--he told me Jay and Susan were out of the office and that Tracy was there.
Apparently I am not important enough to warrent a phone call.
I also called Frontier to cancel phone, internet, and dish service for the house in West Concord. The guy on the phone was such an absolute nincompoop that I wanted to drive to where he was and castrated him with phone cord wire...First he wanted to charge me $200 for not completing the "introductory period" and I was like WTF??? Introductory period? I've been in that fucking house for 20 years. I've had these services for most of that time...how fucking long was that introductory period supposed to be? Plus, I told him, they TOLD me that if I moved out of the house, all that was moot....even if the time had not expired YEARS ago.
"Oh, you're moving?" the moron said.
"That is why I am cancelling the services," (YOU FUCKING MORON) I said, "As I told you at the beginning of our conversation." (YOU FUCKING MORON).
I also had to tell him at least four times that I was MOVING IN WITH MY MOM WHO ALREADY HAD PHONE, INTERNET, AND CABLE SERVICE. I did not think he was EVER going to get that through his pea brain.
anyhow, I THINK my mission was accomplished there.
While I was struggling to communicate with this idiot, Laurie had tried to call me. I texted her that I was on the phone with a nincompoop trying to cancel phone and so on, and that I would call her back as soon as I was done.
So, when I was finally off the phone with brain-dead boy, I called Laurie and told her what Steve had said about the house.
She said, "So it would be better if you had walked away?"
I said, "That's what he said." Then I told her how he had figured out that if they could get a loan by having someone co-sign for them, their payments would be even less than mine...
She said that their credit was too bad to get a loan--and then she said that she and Frank had filed bankruptcy two years ago, so their credit also sucked. This I did not know.
So, I am feeling really bad that these young kids with two little babies have moved into this house, thinking their problems were solved, and now they are going to get booted out of there. It makes me just sick. But what else can I do?
I have NO FUCKING INCOME. I can't afford to pay massive taxes or some huge fine.
The unemployment deal will give me a little over $500/week--but that will be less once taxes are taken out of it. I opted to have taxes taken out of it before they gave it to me as I do NOT want to have to come up with a massive amount of money for taxes next April.
Once I walk away from the house, I will have few bills--I have two credit cards and two small loans. One credit card is almost paid off. I think I owe about $600. The other has more--but I have an arrangement with them...They have frozen my interest and are taking around $100 a month directly off the principal. Once I get unemployement monies, I will pay off the small one immediately and then whack away at the other one. The two small loans are also both nearly paid off.
The only other bills I will have are my cell phone and car insurance.
And hopefully, I will be able to make some money subbing. and maybe I will even find some other job that I can do...and of course, I will work on my writing. I know my chances of publishing and making a decent amount of money doing that are about as great as winning the lottery, but hey! SOME people do publish. Why not me? And why SHOULDN'T I be the next JK Rowling or whoever that chick is who wrote all those lame-ass vampire novels?
And I have a lot of change in my two piggy banks. I am going to start buying the lottery tickets for every Wednesday and Saturday drawing. Why not me?
Because of the extreme shittiness of my day, I didn't get much done.
I did finish sorting out the doll clothes patterns I had been working on but I did not get them filed in their appropriate folders in the file cabinet.
Mom was messing around in the family room, and I went out to join her with my book. I sat in "my" recliner and started reading--but I was so emotionally overwrought that I could not keep my eyes open. I fell asleep...when I woke up it was 6:30 pm and I was all alone in the basement. I don't know what time it was when I went out there, but I think I slept for at least 2-3 hours in the recliner. And I was completely OUT too--not just drowsing.
When I woke up, Mom called my cell to tell me there was potato salad upstairs. I have been very hungry for potato salad lately. So, I went up and ate a generous helping of potato salad after which I was still hungry, so I made a couple of pieces of buttered toast. I watched NCIS with Mom in the living room upstairs, and then retreated to my lair where I finished reading The Swiss Family Robinson. I enjoyed the book although I was struck by the absolute illogic of it all. An island near the equator...and inhabiting it were lions, elephants, grizzly bears, flamingoes, PENGUINS, hyenas, duck billed platypuses, boa constrictors, zebras, jackels, wolves, gazelles, African bull frogs,bustards, eagles, parrots, kangaroos, black swans, ostriches, beaver rats, tigers, monkeys, buffalo, hippotamuses, seals, capybara, and walruses. And growing wild there were potatoes, truffles, wild wheat, cotton, cocoanuts, gourds, wax berries, sugar cane, bananas, cocoa beans, pine trees, maize, aloe, pineapple, vanilla beans, figs, cacti, manioc root, apples, palm hearts, and so many other things....and I thought as I read it, how fricking big IS this island?
And how in the world did all these animals and plants which come from so many different parts of the world all end up on this ONE island in the middle of the ocean--and if it is so big that it encompasses such a variety of climates and creatures, how come it hasn't already been claimed and colonized during that period in history when colonists were flocking everywhere in the world...and why were there no indigenous peoples there? Everything else under the sun certainly was!
So, I guess I enjoyed it more when I was a child and did not know so much about geography and the impossibility of so many things co-existing on an island in the pacific.
I don't know what I will read next, but I do intend to make use of this "down time" to read as much as I possibly can.
Today, I posted on my facebook status that it would have been better if I had been shot in the face rather than booted from ROC, and I meant it.
Steve Ross came back here today and had absolutely no good news for me at all. In fact, all the news he had for me was devastatingly horrible.
First, the thing with the house--it is a complete fucking mess. If I allow things to continue as they are, I will have to pay income tax on every cent those kids pay in house payments, utility bills, taxes, and insurance...because *I* own the house...even though not a single penny of that money is going into my pocket. Also, if I am not living there, I lose the homestead credit, which will phenomenally increase the taxes. And if the fucking government finds out what we have going on, I will be subject to an enormous fine because what we are doing is illegal.
He told me it would have been better for me to walk away from the house. He told me I either had to kick those kids out of the house and then walk away from it, or get them to buy it, which I can't see happening, because both of them have bad credit...and so do her parents. I don't know anything about HIS parents.
For the first time today, I feel like it was a terrible mistake to leave Triton. It was hell. I was miserable. Brett Joyce was the biggest fucking asshole that ever lived and he hated me and would do anything to make me even more miserable...but I had tenure...and if I didn't kill him or myself, I would have survived to reach the rule of 90.
There was other shit too, but I haven't the strength to record all of it.
Steve was very nice and sympathetic about it. He had been through similar experiences when he taught at Waseca vocational Technical College (which is not a federal prison for women--and my brother Jack works there.) They cut hm loose and hired two cheaper teachers in his place. Loyalty from employers is a thing of the past--yet they still expect complete loyalty and compliance and self-sacrifice from their workers.
As soon as he left, I went down to the basement, texted Laurie (whose daughter is one of hte kids in my house) to call me asap), and then called TRA to see if there was ANY thing at all that could be done with my situation. The chick on the phone was completely without compassion--agreed with me blithely when I said, "So, in fact, I have options, but they all suck." Also made a twittery little noise of amused agreement when I said, "So you're telling me I would have to live on air for over 4 years, waiting to age into the rule of 90." And again when I said, "So it would have been preferrable to have been shot in the face rather than let go?"
At that point, I truly WANTED to shoot myself in the face. I wanted to just BE DEAD.
All those fucking years YEARS of working my ass off--commiting every ounce of my energy to my job and my kids...and THIS is my return? Chuckled at and tossed in the gutter?
Yes, yes, I have had lots of messages from parents and former students telling me how LOVED I am and how much GOOD I have done in the world...and that is all very wonderful and pleasant to hear...but it ain't gonna pay for my fucking diabetes meds, is it? I isn't going to put food on the table, gas in the tank, or shoes on my feet.
Steve also told me that it would take about 2 years to get approved for disability IF...IF...it was granted to me. "It's almost impossible to get," he informed me.
So, after I hung up on the bitch from TRA I cried.
I seldom cry--not for myself--but I cried for quite a while, in frustration, despair, and hopelessness.
Then I went on line and applied for unemployment benefits. I called the school--Tracy, as I knew Susan was out for medical reasons--and left a message asking that she check the master contract and let me know what my exact salary was last year. She never called back. I had called Chris who was our major negotiator in hopes he would have a copy of the master contract, but he didn't--he told me Jay and Susan were out of the office and that Tracy was there.
Apparently I am not important enough to warrent a phone call.
I also called Frontier to cancel phone, internet, and dish service for the house in West Concord. The guy on the phone was such an absolute nincompoop that I wanted to drive to where he was and castrated him with phone cord wire...First he wanted to charge me $200 for not completing the "introductory period" and I was like WTF??? Introductory period? I've been in that fucking house for 20 years. I've had these services for most of that time...how fucking long was that introductory period supposed to be? Plus, I told him, they TOLD me that if I moved out of the house, all that was moot....even if the time had not expired YEARS ago.
"Oh, you're moving?" the moron said.
"That is why I am cancelling the services," (YOU FUCKING MORON) I said, "As I told you at the beginning of our conversation." (YOU FUCKING MORON).
I also had to tell him at least four times that I was MOVING IN WITH MY MOM WHO ALREADY HAD PHONE, INTERNET, AND CABLE SERVICE. I did not think he was EVER going to get that through his pea brain.
anyhow, I THINK my mission was accomplished there.
While I was struggling to communicate with this idiot, Laurie had tried to call me. I texted her that I was on the phone with a nincompoop trying to cancel phone and so on, and that I would call her back as soon as I was done.
So, when I was finally off the phone with brain-dead boy, I called Laurie and told her what Steve had said about the house.
She said, "So it would be better if you had walked away?"
I said, "That's what he said." Then I told her how he had figured out that if they could get a loan by having someone co-sign for them, their payments would be even less than mine...
She said that their credit was too bad to get a loan--and then she said that she and Frank had filed bankruptcy two years ago, so their credit also sucked. This I did not know.
So, I am feeling really bad that these young kids with two little babies have moved into this house, thinking their problems were solved, and now they are going to get booted out of there. It makes me just sick. But what else can I do?
I have NO FUCKING INCOME. I can't afford to pay massive taxes or some huge fine.
The unemployment deal will give me a little over $500/week--but that will be less once taxes are taken out of it. I opted to have taxes taken out of it before they gave it to me as I do NOT want to have to come up with a massive amount of money for taxes next April.
Once I walk away from the house, I will have few bills--I have two credit cards and two small loans. One credit card is almost paid off. I think I owe about $600. The other has more--but I have an arrangement with them...They have frozen my interest and are taking around $100 a month directly off the principal. Once I get unemployement monies, I will pay off the small one immediately and then whack away at the other one. The two small loans are also both nearly paid off.
The only other bills I will have are my cell phone and car insurance.
And hopefully, I will be able to make some money subbing. and maybe I will even find some other job that I can do...and of course, I will work on my writing. I know my chances of publishing and making a decent amount of money doing that are about as great as winning the lottery, but hey! SOME people do publish. Why not me? And why SHOULDN'T I be the next JK Rowling or whoever that chick is who wrote all those lame-ass vampire novels?
And I have a lot of change in my two piggy banks. I am going to start buying the lottery tickets for every Wednesday and Saturday drawing. Why not me?
Because of the extreme shittiness of my day, I didn't get much done.
I did finish sorting out the doll clothes patterns I had been working on but I did not get them filed in their appropriate folders in the file cabinet.
Mom was messing around in the family room, and I went out to join her with my book. I sat in "my" recliner and started reading--but I was so emotionally overwrought that I could not keep my eyes open. I fell asleep...when I woke up it was 6:30 pm and I was all alone in the basement. I don't know what time it was when I went out there, but I think I slept for at least 2-3 hours in the recliner. And I was completely OUT too--not just drowsing.
When I woke up, Mom called my cell to tell me there was potato salad upstairs. I have been very hungry for potato salad lately. So, I went up and ate a generous helping of potato salad after which I was still hungry, so I made a couple of pieces of buttered toast. I watched NCIS with Mom in the living room upstairs, and then retreated to my lair where I finished reading The Swiss Family Robinson. I enjoyed the book although I was struck by the absolute illogic of it all. An island near the equator...and inhabiting it were lions, elephants, grizzly bears, flamingoes, PENGUINS, hyenas, duck billed platypuses, boa constrictors, zebras, jackels, wolves, gazelles, African bull frogs,bustards, eagles, parrots, kangaroos, black swans, ostriches, beaver rats, tigers, monkeys, buffalo, hippotamuses, seals, capybara, and walruses. And growing wild there were potatoes, truffles, wild wheat, cotton, cocoanuts, gourds, wax berries, sugar cane, bananas, cocoa beans, pine trees, maize, aloe, pineapple, vanilla beans, figs, cacti, manioc root, apples, palm hearts, and so many other things....and I thought as I read it, how fricking big IS this island?
And how in the world did all these animals and plants which come from so many different parts of the world all end up on this ONE island in the middle of the ocean--and if it is so big that it encompasses such a variety of climates and creatures, how come it hasn't already been claimed and colonized during that period in history when colonists were flocking everywhere in the world...and why were there no indigenous peoples there? Everything else under the sun certainly was!
So, I guess I enjoyed it more when I was a child and did not know so much about geography and the impossibility of so many things co-existing on an island in the pacific.
I don't know what I will read next, but I do intend to make use of this "down time" to read as much as I possibly can.
