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February 24-25
Feb. 26th, 2020 12:37 pmMonday, February 24
Stewie is still alive. He ate a little food. He spent a long time lying across my chest purring while I petted him and told him I love him. I don't think he will be here much longer. I have to hold out till Wednesday so I can get him to the vet. I am actually $4 overdrawn right now, but on Wednesday, the social security check drops into my account. I hope he can hold on a little longer. The vet requires immediate payment after service, and I have no money at the moment.
I am sad to say that I don't think there is much the vet will be able to do. I think he is leaving me. I want him to stay, but I don't think it's in the cards. I have cried so much in the last few weeks that I don't know how I have any tears left.
It was hell getting his pill in him. He spit it out five times before I finally got it far enough back that he had to swallow it. He actually laid his ears back at me, which he never does. I don't know if I should even keep trying or just let him go. He hates it so much and I feel like such a brutal bastard forcing it down his throat like that.
I was very lazy today. I did get up fairly early as the Culligan man was scheduled to come by 9 am. I didn't need any new water as I have one almost full jug on the dispenser and three full jugs under the table. He took away the empty one, though, so that is out of the breezeway.
I spent most of the day poking around on the internet. Mainly looking at doll posts in the doll collectors' groups on Facebook. I am so jealous of some of the beautiful dolls these folks have. I am not suffering from lack of dolls, I have PLENTY. However, there is a new doll being shared called "RubyRed Gallery" dolls. I think they are the same size as the Wellie Wishers, and they are simply adorable. They have the very sweetest faces, and I think they are fully jointed. Also, Mattel has put out more dolls in the Harry Potter collection--they have Hagrid now, but he isn't as tall as he should be--he's the same height as Ken. He should be at least half again as tall as Ken. I am going to have to look on Amazon to see what others are available. Not that I can afford to buy any of them at this time. I'm pretty sure they have Luna Lovegood.
I hope they do Sybell Trawlaney.
I did manage to put away my clean dishes and wash the dirty ones. I made myself a lovely poached egg and toast for breakfast. I had left over pizza for lunch. I just ate some puff pastries for supper and went to bed. It was an emotionally exhausting day.
Tuesday, February 25
Stewie is still alive. Noticably weaker and thinner. He did eat a little "purrstick" food which is like a pepperoni stick only it is soft and made of chicken. It's the only thing he has shown any interest in eating. My heart is breaking. Tomorrow I will call the vet and take him in. I think he needs to stay there a couple of days and get intravenous feeding and stronger meds. If he doesn't improve soon, I will have to consider putting him down. I can't watch him slowly dying before my eyes. He spent most of the day hiding behind the chair, lying on an afghan by the heat vent. He ALWAYS gets up and follows me to the bathroom when I go--but he only did it once today. I am so afraid that he has given up. My heart is broken.
I took a shower this morning--I felt gritty. I had boxed up some garden tools to send to my friend in California last night, and I wanted to get them in the mail today. I called my mother to see if she wanted to go get her mail and if she would mail my package while she was there. She agreed to do it. So, I picked her up and took her to the post office where she got her mail and mailed my package and several bills that I have written out but held because I didn't have enough money in the bank to cover them. Tomorrow, my social security drops into my account, so I can mail them today and by the time they get to their destinations, the money will be there to cover them.
My mother also pulled my garbage can back up to my house. She has been much better to me since Stewie has been so ill. She was hungry for fish, so we drove to Owatonna for lunch. We were going to go to the Kernal, but there wasn't a single open parking space, so we went through the drive through at Culvers and got their 2-piece fish dinner. We also got a 6 piece shrimp entree that we shared. I was hungry since I hadn't had any breakfast and a very skimpy supper. We went to Morehouse Park and parked by the river to eat the food while it was hot. The fish and shrimp and onion rings were really good, but the coleslaw was frozen almost solid and tasted rancid. We both threw that away.
After I dropped her off at her house, I picked up my own mail. It was mostly catalogs. My afternoon was pretty quiet. I called the Clinic and made appointments with my primary doctor. She had told me to make an appointment with her after I saw the cardiologist, and my shoulder has been extremely painful since I fell. It has been sore and unpleasant for years, but lately it has been worse. I also want to discuss with her the continuing issues I am having after my experience in Methodist Hospital. I am having issues with my short term memory--and I am having "blank" spots during my daily life. For example, I watched at least three movies on Sunday, and now I can't remember anything about them. I have always had a fantastic memory--I can remember back to when I was two years old! And suddenly--since that horrific experience in Methodist--I am having issues. I think those fuckers gave me a drug that caused some kind of brain damage.
It could be stress over everything I have been through during the last year and now put over the top by Stewie's sickness--or, they may have damaged my brain so it isn't working like it should. I can't get in to see her till March 10, which is actually sooner than I expected. It usually takes a month to get in to see her.
I also made an appointment to see the social worker. I am not having any luck finding a therapist. I have called the one my sister in law recommended twice, and there STILL hasn't been any response. It's been three weeks. I will see her on Friday.
I wasn't hungry after eating the fish at Culvers, so I just ate a banana and called it good.
I had a terrible headache all afternoon and evening. I don't know if it was caused by banging my head against the wall yesterday morning--I don't know how I managed that, but I gave myself a pretty good whack. It's still sore where it hit--or it could be because I didn't drink any diet coke at all today, and I usually have a 20 ounce bottle every day. It might have been caused by the lack of caffeine. I had a rootbeer at Culvers, so I didn't want any more pop.
Stewie is still alive. He ate a little food. He spent a long time lying across my chest purring while I petted him and told him I love him. I don't think he will be here much longer. I have to hold out till Wednesday so I can get him to the vet. I am actually $4 overdrawn right now, but on Wednesday, the social security check drops into my account. I hope he can hold on a little longer. The vet requires immediate payment after service, and I have no money at the moment.
I am sad to say that I don't think there is much the vet will be able to do. I think he is leaving me. I want him to stay, but I don't think it's in the cards. I have cried so much in the last few weeks that I don't know how I have any tears left.
It was hell getting his pill in him. He spit it out five times before I finally got it far enough back that he had to swallow it. He actually laid his ears back at me, which he never does. I don't know if I should even keep trying or just let him go. He hates it so much and I feel like such a brutal bastard forcing it down his throat like that.
I was very lazy today. I did get up fairly early as the Culligan man was scheduled to come by 9 am. I didn't need any new water as I have one almost full jug on the dispenser and three full jugs under the table. He took away the empty one, though, so that is out of the breezeway.
I spent most of the day poking around on the internet. Mainly looking at doll posts in the doll collectors' groups on Facebook. I am so jealous of some of the beautiful dolls these folks have. I am not suffering from lack of dolls, I have PLENTY. However, there is a new doll being shared called "RubyRed Gallery" dolls. I think they are the same size as the Wellie Wishers, and they are simply adorable. They have the very sweetest faces, and I think they are fully jointed. Also, Mattel has put out more dolls in the Harry Potter collection--they have Hagrid now, but he isn't as tall as he should be--he's the same height as Ken. He should be at least half again as tall as Ken. I am going to have to look on Amazon to see what others are available. Not that I can afford to buy any of them at this time. I'm pretty sure they have Luna Lovegood.
I hope they do Sybell Trawlaney.
I did manage to put away my clean dishes and wash the dirty ones. I made myself a lovely poached egg and toast for breakfast. I had left over pizza for lunch. I just ate some puff pastries for supper and went to bed. It was an emotionally exhausting day.
Tuesday, February 25
Stewie is still alive. Noticably weaker and thinner. He did eat a little "purrstick" food which is like a pepperoni stick only it is soft and made of chicken. It's the only thing he has shown any interest in eating. My heart is breaking. Tomorrow I will call the vet and take him in. I think he needs to stay there a couple of days and get intravenous feeding and stronger meds. If he doesn't improve soon, I will have to consider putting him down. I can't watch him slowly dying before my eyes. He spent most of the day hiding behind the chair, lying on an afghan by the heat vent. He ALWAYS gets up and follows me to the bathroom when I go--but he only did it once today. I am so afraid that he has given up. My heart is broken.
I took a shower this morning--I felt gritty. I had boxed up some garden tools to send to my friend in California last night, and I wanted to get them in the mail today. I called my mother to see if she wanted to go get her mail and if she would mail my package while she was there. She agreed to do it. So, I picked her up and took her to the post office where she got her mail and mailed my package and several bills that I have written out but held because I didn't have enough money in the bank to cover them. Tomorrow, my social security drops into my account, so I can mail them today and by the time they get to their destinations, the money will be there to cover them.
My mother also pulled my garbage can back up to my house. She has been much better to me since Stewie has been so ill. She was hungry for fish, so we drove to Owatonna for lunch. We were going to go to the Kernal, but there wasn't a single open parking space, so we went through the drive through at Culvers and got their 2-piece fish dinner. We also got a 6 piece shrimp entree that we shared. I was hungry since I hadn't had any breakfast and a very skimpy supper. We went to Morehouse Park and parked by the river to eat the food while it was hot. The fish and shrimp and onion rings were really good, but the coleslaw was frozen almost solid and tasted rancid. We both threw that away.
After I dropped her off at her house, I picked up my own mail. It was mostly catalogs. My afternoon was pretty quiet. I called the Clinic and made appointments with my primary doctor. She had told me to make an appointment with her after I saw the cardiologist, and my shoulder has been extremely painful since I fell. It has been sore and unpleasant for years, but lately it has been worse. I also want to discuss with her the continuing issues I am having after my experience in Methodist Hospital. I am having issues with my short term memory--and I am having "blank" spots during my daily life. For example, I watched at least three movies on Sunday, and now I can't remember anything about them. I have always had a fantastic memory--I can remember back to when I was two years old! And suddenly--since that horrific experience in Methodist--I am having issues. I think those fuckers gave me a drug that caused some kind of brain damage.
It could be stress over everything I have been through during the last year and now put over the top by Stewie's sickness--or, they may have damaged my brain so it isn't working like it should. I can't get in to see her till March 10, which is actually sooner than I expected. It usually takes a month to get in to see her.
I also made an appointment to see the social worker. I am not having any luck finding a therapist. I have called the one my sister in law recommended twice, and there STILL hasn't been any response. It's been three weeks. I will see her on Friday.
I wasn't hungry after eating the fish at Culvers, so I just ate a banana and called it good.
I had a terrible headache all afternoon and evening. I don't know if it was caused by banging my head against the wall yesterday morning--I don't know how I managed that, but I gave myself a pretty good whack. It's still sore where it hit--or it could be because I didn't drink any diet coke at all today, and I usually have a 20 ounce bottle every day. It might have been caused by the lack of caffeine. I had a rootbeer at Culvers, so I didn't want any more pop.
