Introspection of the Day: What is the MOST SIGNIFICANT REALIZATION I have made.

In the course of my life, I have had many significant realizations which have made the world make a lot more sense to me. But I think the most significant one is that everything--and I mean EVERYTHING--is interconnected.

When I imagine a visual metaphor for existance, what comes into my mind is a spiderweb--an intricate weaving of strands that intersect and splay outwards and hook to many different points, bringing all things together.

Of course, when I visualize this web, I usually visualize it as flaming rather than as sticky cobweb. I suspect this is my brain adding the elements of vitality (fire=dynamic) and also of brevity (fire consumes--and our lives race quickly past us).

The longer I live, the more I realize how amazingly interconnected everything is. I don't know that there is another human being alive that I cannot connect to at some level--find SOME common ground with. (DIfficult with my ex-boss, but I'm sure we could find SOMETHING to connect on.)

I think, in my spiderweb metaphor, that I (and everyone else, in their own webs) am the spider. I take in the information from all the points that I "visit"--"digest it"--and spin my flaming web with the insights and understandings that I have come upon. I connect one point to another--and another--and another. Each item is connected and reconnected and cross-connected and interconnected. It is an amazingly complex web.

That is my big thought of the day.

Something I stole from justink

1. Tell me something obvious about you. I am fiendishly clever.

2. Tell me something about you that many don't know. I can still pat the unicorn with impunity.

3. What is your biggest fear? Being picked up by the C.I.A. and transported to some foul little cell for speaking out against the regime of that nasty little fucktard, King George II. And, more rationally, allowing fear or feelings of inadequacy to prevent me from taking a risk and doing something amazing.

4. Do you normally go the safe route or take the short cut? Depends on the day and the phase of the moon. I like variety.

5. Name one thing you want that you can't buy with money. True love.

6. What is your most treasured possession? My car and my computer are two things I dearly love--but the thing I would hate to lose most is the collection of drawings from my nieces and nephews from the time they were tiny to the present--and my snippets and folders of original stories and poetry. Both those are irreplacable.

7. What is the one thing you hate most about yourself that you do often? I hate that I know that not eating properly and taking my meds will make me feel like shit--yet I often do not eat properly or take my meds on schedule.

8. Tell me something sexually about you that I don't know. I am the world's oldest living virgin (who is not a nun).

9. Tell me something sexually about you that everyone knows. All sexual stuff is a matter of conjecture and theory for me. Heh heh heh.

10. What is your favorite lie to tell? I'm an alien--I a.m only here to study your backward planet and its odd customs

11. Name something you've done once that you can't wait to do again. Bought a house.

12. Are you the jealous type? Not really.

13. What is the one person, place or thing you can't say no to? Barbie stuff :-p

14. What is the nicest thing someone has ever done for you? Well, a few years ago, several of my students raised over $100 to buy me the Barbie Harley-Davidson motorcycle. While I had lusted for that toy Harley, the thought that they would part with that much money to buy it for me touched my heart very deeply. I believe that is actually the most beautiful, loving thing I have ever experienced. Oh, and when the kids voted me "Ma Cobra"--Basically the favorite female teacher of the school--that was very touching too.

15. If you could do something crazy right now, what would it be? Go skinny dipping. I've always wanted to.

16. When was the last time you cried? Watching Forrest Gump this weekend--when Jenny died.

17. When was the last time you felt so good that nothing else mattered? When I got my job at R.O.C. and could leave Triton, that hell-hole.

18. Do you feel comfortable in public with no shirt on? Heh heh heh....only if I'm wearing a sweater.

19. Name something embarrassing you did while being drunk. Spray painted something really stupid and unkind on a billboard about someone.

20. If you post this in your journal would you like me to answer it? Go for it.

The Fucktard Cat Puked on the bed AGAIN

I am so sick of this!

It's bad enough to clean it up off the floor--but WHY oh WHY does she puke almost exclusively on the bed????

I don't understand it.

So, now another fucking mess to clean up.

And I'm tired and I just want to go to sleep.

WEll, at least it motivated me to get the hairball stuff out. I gave her a double dose.

She looked at me like I was Mengela, but dammit! I cannot be washing my bedding five times a week.

Thank God summer is coming.

I need a break.

I'm exhausted.