Bad Language and Respect

GG, don't read this entry.  It is going to have some very bad words in it.

Go flog Clong or play with Frank the Bunny.

:)

Last night I read Carmen's livejournal about Harry calling her a cunt. 

It has been eating at me ever since.

Cunt is such an ugly word.  While I say "fuck" with depressing frequency these days, I RARELY even consider using the world Cunt.  In fact, I think I've only used it in real life twice.  And never directly to someone as in "You are a ..."  Once I refered to a group of self-absorbed, holier-than-thou, prissy-ass women as "The Cunt Clan" when speaking of them to another friend.  I would never call them that to their face.  Bitches, maybe.  But never cunts.

Cunt reminds me of the word Squaw.  In my youth, I thought "squaw" meant "woman."  It doesn't.  It is the NA word to refer to the woman's sexual organ.  I learned that white trappers called NA women "squaws" because, to them, that was what those women were--their entire existance, their entire significance, their entire use was to be a penis receptacle.  Willing or not.

Cunt is the same thing.  Both Cunt and Squaw are harsh, abrupt sounding words as well.  Even if you had no clue what they meant, you'd be able to tell it wasn't anything nice by the way they sound.  Both of those words are dehumanizing.  Calling a woman a cunt reduces her to the status of an object--a tight little pocket existing solely for the purpose of being a temporary container for a man's penis.  Her brain, her thoughts, her dreams, her talents, her creativity, her self--all of those things are swept away, tossed into the bin, with one gutteral word.

Cunt.

The unfathomable level of disrespect indicated by someone using this word is mind-boggling.  Especially when it is used on someone you (supposedly) love.  It's more than simple disrespect.  It's contempt.  It's a level of malevolence that makes me feel sick to my stomach, and angry.  Very angry.  It's hard for me to wrap my mind around that concept.  My brother-in-law has called my sister a cunt on occasion--in front of their two sons.  What kind of man would call the mother of his children a cunt?  What kind of man would call the woman he supposedly loves and intends to marry a cunt?

"Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me."

Remember that lie from childhood?

Because it is a lie.  Not just a lie, but a fucking goddamned lie. 

Words hurt so much more than sticks and stones that they are hardly comparable.  Beat me with a stick and in a week--maybe less--the bruises are gone.  Call me a cunt--make me feel like something nasty and unworthy of basic human dignity and respect--and it will stab me in the heart each and every time I remember it for the rest of my life.  And if I am vulnerable enough to believe that I am unworthy of respect and dignity--unentitled to be or do anything except exist as a temporary storage unit for somebody's dick--my soul--my essence--is damaged almost to the point of destruction.

I don't really know why reading that little entry affected me as profoundly as it did--maybe it's  because I think Carmen is Da Bomb and doesn't deserve to be treated so shittily, or maybe because it clicked into play my memories of my sister's worthless, POS alcoholic husband calling her a cunt, setting the bar for both of his sons regarding treatment of the woman you (supposedly) love, or maybe it's because I've had words used as weapons against me so many times in my life, and I know how deep the wounds of words go--and how much it hurts--and how it never ever really heals--I don't know.

But I do know that it isn't okay.  It isn't fucking okay to call anyone a cunt.  I don't care what they did.  Or what your mood is.  Or if you have a migraine and they are beating a drum.  Or if your dog died.  Or if your manhood hasn't been fully functional for three months. 

It isn't okay to call anyone a cunt.

Since I can't drive to Ohio and have a little personal chat with the infamous Harry, and since there's not a damned thing I can do about my stupid asshole brother-in-law (believe me, I have campaigned hard to get my sister to divorce the bastard), I decided to write my little Rant about it here. 

I'm sorry if anyone was offended by the vulgar terms.

GG, if you read this--you're getting flogged.  So you better not have read it!!

gah!!

I have pissed away the whole morning again.

For one thing, I could not get my lazy butt out of bed--probably due to the fact that I stayed up till almost 3 am writing my rant.  On an up note, I got to send GG off to school wearing a pink lacy eye patch with ribbons on it this morning.  heh heh heh

It's not often I get to talk to my adopted "pirate" daughter before she goes to school--since she is in ENGLAND, and it's the middle of the night for me when she is frolicking off to school.  Heh heh.

Vicki Reiser called me early this morning--wanting to go to a movie.  I told her I could not, since I have to go to an acryllic painting class.  I signed up for it a long time ago--and forgot about it entirely.  The people from the art center called yesterday to remind me of it, so my plans to haul my garage sale crap to my sister-in-law's house are delayed till tomorrow--after the trip to the chiropractor.  Ah, well.  That's life.

I haven't painted in (literally) YEARS.  It will be interesting to see if I have any residual ability at all....heh

That's all I need--one more hobby to try to fit in.  Heheheheeheheh.

Yesterday I tried to go through a couple of my barbie boxes--trying to thin the collection and come up with some stuff to send Jeannie in Africa, who says that Barbie dolls are rare and extremely expensive there.  I have SO MANY of them that I can't even begin to enjoy them all--and I really do need to thin the collection out a bit...but the minute I hold them in my hands, I don't want to part with them.  It's my unbelievable ability to personify everything.  heh heh

I did sort out a little "chubby baby"--the precursor to Kelly dolls that never did quite capture the public the way the Kelly did.

  Well, this example is a poor one since both dolls look mentally impaired, but if you look at the baby doll, that is the basic shape of the doll.  I'll take a picture of it after I get back from painting...mine is much cuter.  And it is a duplicate to one I bought at Toys R Us many moons ago.  The doll I found I got at a garage sale, I think--but she is perfect other than needing a little taming of her hair (easily done).  I sorted out a bunch of the darling little outfits I made for the one I bought at TrU and plan to send them all to Jeannie.  I also sorted out a teen skipper doll, which is also a duplicate of one I own.  I figured I'll send her along as the "big sister"--I don't have as many clothes made for that size doll as I had no pattern.  i did make up one and sew a bunch of clothes for that size--but I love those so much, I hate to part with any of them...heh heh heh.  Same with the little baby doll, but I have a whole shoe box full of outfits I sewed for her.  The teen doll only has a dozen or so.

I can always make more...but they do consume a lot of time.

Any how.  I have to get off line as it is almost time to go, and I have not yet taken the meds I am supposed to have taken at about 7 am.  And now it is nearly noon.  Bad me.  Bad, bad me.

If I die, I have no one to blame but myself.

Or that masked dude with the machete hiding in my closet.

 

I should be sleeping....

but obviously I am not....

I'm listening to Rufus Wainwright singing "Evil Angel"--Rufus rocks.

Today I went to the acryllic painting class DeAnn taught.  It was fun.  It's been YEARS since I painted with acyrllics--well, since I actually painted a picture with acryllics.  During the "experiment with the brush" time, I painted a fish, which I liked.  But then I had to paint over it.  Alas.  It would have looked good on my refrigerator....heheheh

We painted teapots to practice using light and shadow to make them three dimensional.  I think I over did my tea pot and turned it into something rather muddy looking.  However, it's always good to give it a little time and look at it after time has passed.  It's in my trunk right now.  It was a little wet when we left the art center, and I didn't want paint all over the inside of the car.

Vickie Reiser came with us, and she was much less loud and obnoxious than she used to be.  Perhaps her massive weight loss has lessened her need to be loud to be noticed.  I dunno.

There was a lady from Kenyon at the painting class that appeared to have the IQ of a mushy apple.  She was harmless and kind of endearing, but her questions and comments were...a bit annoying after a while.

Heh.

The rest of the people were nice enough.  No one had a lot of pizzazz--no good strong personality leaped out and amused us all.  Perhaps it was because it was the first lesson and everyone was feeling a little shy and self-conscious.  Dunno.

I saw DeAnn's little fimo dragons in the little shop part of the art center.  They are adorable.  I want to make some....and send some as a gift to....someone who shall remain nameless at this time so the surprise will not be ruined.  heh heh heh

If I am unable to make them, I will buy a couple of DeAnn's.  Or perhaps make some sort of trade for them.

:)

hehehe

After class, we went to eat at the Depot.  We sat in the back on the patio.  It was really pretty back there with lots of flowers--and we were the only ones out there, so that was kinda nice.  We were just a few feet from the railroad tracks, and I was hoping a train would go by, but none did.  The stench of the crap they use to treat the railroad ties was truly nauseating, but after a while, when we got the food, the smell was kinda strained out.

DeAnn asked Vickie about her Intestinal By-Pass operation, and Vickie got a little pissed at me for telling DeAnn about it.  I don't know why.  It's not like having that kind of surgery is shameful or anything.  But, Vickie has always been someone who practices a lot of subtrafuge.  You never know what the real truth is because she tells so many variants of every story.

And it isn't like I discussed her personal life intensely--I just mentioned it in passing.

Ah, well.

She'll either get over it or not.  It doesn't really matter to me.

She looks damn good though, I have to give her kudos for that!

On the way home we had sort of an argument.  I don't remember what started it.  But we were talking about the fallacy of Christians being persecuted in the United States.  I commented that certain politicians *cough*George Bush*cough* hauled out this old bullshit yarn every election year--sending out lying propaganda--like when Mondale/Ferrarro ran, and the Republican party send out little manifestos to all the fundie/looney churches declaring that if Mondale and Ferrarro won, the children would be taken out of Christian homes and raised by godless secular humanists where they would be taught about SEX and EVOLUTION and turned into atheists--and probably homosexuals as well!!!!  NOOOoooooOOOoooo 

Bah.

Such ignorance.

And then this last election, where the Bush mafia sent out shit to the red states saying that Kerry would ban sales of the Bible if he were elected.  And again, the morons believed it.

Somehow the conversation twisted into a discussion of how the Ten Commandments and other Christian type icons were being removed from public building.  Seriously, I don't give a shit if the Ten Commandments are in a public building or not.  BUT--the Judeo Christian religion cannot be the exclusive religion represented in public buildings then--it isn't fair to the rest of the population of the country.

Then the argument came up about how this country was founded on Christian principles.  Well, okay.  So it was.  But it was also founded on the notion of SEPARATION of Church and State.  The Government has NO RIGHT to force any religion down the throats of anyone.

All religions should be treated with respect--respecting another group's religious beliefs doesn't mean you are defying the principles of your own...it just means you are not being an ethnocentric prick about your religion. 

While I believe strongly in the Christian principles, I sometimes HATE the behavior I see exhibited by self-proclaimed Christians.  The intolerance and smug superiority and conviction that being Christian somehow makes them unshakeably right about everything just pisses me off.

A Christian is no more valueable (nor any more loved by a divine being) than any other human on the planet, including the lowliest third world child.  In fact, in MY Bible, it specifically says that we are SUPPOSED to be humble and not take advantage of others to glorify and enrich (materially) ourselves.  Yet, that seems to be the 21st Christian manifesto.  This cult of wealth that I am hearing preached from numerous pulpits is getting me down.

And the fucking republican claim of being "born again Christians" makes me want to scream, puke, and stab someone in the head with a screw driver.  Their party espouses the LEAST Christian morals, values, and principles I've ever seen.  If George Bush Jr. is a shining example of all that a Christian should be--I'll be a Pagan or a Heretic, thanks very much.

Elitest, warmongering, ethnocentric, intolerant, misogynistic bastards.

Gah.

How intelligent people fail to see the wrongness of what is going on in the world under the guise of "Christianity" is beyond me.  Obviously there is very little critical thinking occuring.

I understand why so many young people consider themselves atheists or agnostics.  The "Christian Example" set before them by so many  is so hypocritical and ridiculous that no one with a brain could possibly seriously consider it.

Jesus would weep, I think, at the atrocities being committed in his name.

Sigh

Well, I have to stop ranting.

Obviously I am a fool to care so much about non-Christians in America getting the shaft.  Obviously I should just believe as Vickie said, "Then let them LEAVE" (the country) if they don't like the Christian culture.  Conveniently forgetting, of course, that they may have been here for three generations....

Obviously I am a fool to be upset by outsourcing jobs to third world countries for the dual reason that American citizens lose their jobs and people in the third world are working in virtual slavery for pennies a day.  Foolish, foolish me.  They are just vermin, after all.  We're doing them a FAVOR by letting them world 12-14 hours a day for a quarter a day.

God help us.

Well--when I got home, I finished cleaning out my closets and got the garage sale crap all priced.

Yuck

Probably all this work was for naught--and I'll make two or three bucks.

I still have to locate Kari's overnight bag that she wants back and a few barbie dolls to put on the sale.

I might put that three sister set on, marking it $25.00 as it is no longer available.  So, it is collectible.  I could do the same for my repro barbie in the evening splendor outfit.  It is NRFB.

I don't think they are selling for that much on ebay--but maybe someone will think they are getting a gold mine because they haven't had the opportunity to get one.  And I don't think $25.00 is an unreasonable price.

ah well.

I have to go to sleep, since I have to be up early, load the car and get to Owatonna for my chiropractor appointment.

Good night....or good morning...or good afternoon....depending on what time of day you read this.

:P