Happy New Year

 

I have had so much crap going on in my life that I just haven’t had the time or will to write in my Livejournal. In fact, one of the main reasons I haven’t written anything is because I have been in such a foul state that I really didn’t want to inflict myself on anyone else.

I get really depressed from Halloween until Christmas every year. This has been going on since my hysterectomy. I am fully aware that my chances of having children anyway were about as much as me being struck in the head by a piece of debris from an alien space craft’s exploding toilet, but hey--there was a chance--regardless of how slight it was.

And I really wanted children. And for some reason, the start of the “I-feel-fucked-over-because-I-never-had-my-own-family” comes at Halloween and lasts until Christmas is done. I suppose it is because the holidays of Halloween and Christmas are the ones especially connected with children.

Anyhow, it is so weird that the bad feeling just sort of evaporates immediately after Christmas day.

I really hate feeling so bad during the holidays. I have to find a way to not feel so horrible during the holidays. That’s over two months of feeling like shit.

Anyhow--even though it was an awful time of moodiness and gloom, I still had did some fun things over my Christmas vacation. I saw several movies--I Am Legend, The Water Horse, Enchanted, The Golden Compass, and National Treasure. I liked them all. I loved The Golden Compass, despite the fact that all the right-wing freakozoids have declared it a threat to Christianity. It was a visual banquet that was just delicious. Even though I Am Legend was very sad, I loved it too. I read the book a zillion years ago when I was in high school, and it is not like the book, and it is not like the older version, The Omega Man, which I didn’t like nearly as much as this new version.

I went out to these movies with DeAnn and Ingrid, mostly, though I went to see I Am Legend on my own.

Christmas at my mom’s was very peaceful and enjoyable. I brought two of my Marley dolls, Savannah and Annalee, along with me and sewed a bunch of flannel pjs. I didn’t have any snaps with me, so I have a ton of things to sew snaps on now.

Mom gave me the DVD Live Free or Die Hard, a paper shredder, and a smoothie maker for Christmas. Kim gave me a $10 gift certificate to Walmart, Jack and Kari gave me a $15 gift certificate to Target, and Tammy and Bert gave me a $30 gift certificate to Barnes and Noble. Joni didn’t give me anything.

I gave each of my nieces and nephews a $10 bill and each of my siblings a beautiful wind chime.

I gave my mom two angel figurines--one was a little girl angel with kittens crawling all over her, and the other was two young girl angels kneeling facing each other and holding hands. I told her it reminded me of her and Darla, my aunt who died last year right before Christmas.

I also have to send Tammy $50 for my share of the sewing machine that we all chipped in on.

We played Apples to Apples after all the unwrapping occurred. It was fun to play. DeAnn and Jim gave me that game as a combination birthday/Christmas gift.

I had such high hopes of getting a lot of cleaning done over Christmas vacation, but all I managed to do was reclaim the rooms of the house that I had already cleaned once. It is one of my New Year’s goals to clean for 2 hours every night after school until my house is as it should be. So far, I haven’t done it once. I did clean a little bit today when I got home from school…I swept and scrubbed the kitchen floor and picked up a few things.

I had hoped to work on the SW bedroom, but I ended up spending a lot of the night on the phone.

I got a mini trampoline to use for walking in place since I was never able to get the treadmill mom promised me. One of my on-line friends recommended that to me. I was able to get one on sale for $19.99, which is a great deal. Jim and DeAnn picked it up for me at Fleet Farm.

So far, it is still in the box.

It is a lot heavier than I expected it to be. I don’t know if I can lug it upstairs myself or not.

Today was the first day back at school. It was a pretty mild day.

We had the kids haul all the stuff back to the rooms from the gym. Then we washed all the tables off and spent the rest of the morning putting stuff away again. My room looks great. I gave my homeroom all the stuffed animals that I had hanging from the ceiling. It was just time to let them go, I guess.

Jay dismissed the kids at 9:40, and then, at our 10:15 meeting, he told us teachers that we could use our own judgment to stay or go. I would have stayed, as I had lots of work to do in my room, but Susan’s nephew was playing some sport in Mankato, and she wanted to go. Since she drove, I had to ride home when she was ready. It didn’t really bother me as my right arm has been aching. I pulled a muscle somehow doing laundry or something, so it was an opportunity for me to go to the chiropractor and have it looked at. Jeff said it was fine--just a soreness that would go away--nothing bad wrong with it.

He patted me on the head and gave me a lollipop (literally). Heh heh.

I got my mail, then dropped off the two movies I had rented for New Year’s Eve. One was Next with Nicholas Cage and the other was Pathfinder. I didn’t know anyone in that movie, but they were both good.

That’s about it for now, I guess. I hope to be writing a lot more regularly in my Livejournal again now. Hopefully not all the entries will be as boring as this one!