Writer's Block: Unlikely Benefactor

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I will pay off the debts of each member of my immediate family, give my alcoholic bro-in-law 100,000 to go away and never bother my sister again, and the rest I will donate to my school for whatever purposes the board, faculty, and administrator sees fit.  (I vote for putting in a pool and a dormitory.)

yeah, baby!

Hopefully one of my siblings will buy me a turtle blizzard or something chocolatey for a treat after they pay off all their bills.

:D