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Nov. 13th, 2011 02:13 amMy head has been hurting for three days.
Tyger Lilly fights my attempts to remove her stitches. Of the ten, I still have three left to remove. Her tummy is looking good, but those last stitches have to come out!
I haven't written anything on my nano for the last four days. I have reached 10,000 words, but I need to get to 50,000 before the end of November. This means I am about 6,000 words behind right now. Bleah. I will have to spend most of my day on writing tomorrow.
More drama with Jay and Roc. I loved him. I trusted him. I NEVER EVER thought it was possible that he could lie to me or hurt me. Now, he has done both, repeatedly. My heart is broken, but I am done. I will never speak to him again--nor will I ever set foot in ROC again. I will not be speaking to Susan or Laurie again either. They all played their part in shafting me up the ass.
Well, today I went into the building for the last time. Jay said I could keep my keys--but I no longer feel accepted as a part of the dysfunctional ROC "family." I no longer have any desire to be connected to them. So, today, my mom, my sister Kim and I went to Rochester. Our first stop was ROC, where I dropped off payment for some hot lunches I had last year which I never got the chance to pay for since neither Susan nor Tracy were ever there when I stopped by. I also left all three of my keys in an envelope taped to Tracy's desk.
I did use the staff bathroom for the last time--and those I was tempted to leave a steaming pile there to stink the place up till monday, I flushed. Then I peeked into my replacement's room just to see how she had it arranged. Remarkably, it was not that much different from the way *I* had my room arranged. But that was one of the two things that the English dudes used to judge me unworthy of being a teacher. That and the ridiculous claim of my being "distant" from my students. Really? Really, you assholes? Obviously your heads are so far up your asses that you can see the light through your nostrils.
Am I bitter? Oh, FUCK, yes, I am.
I am even more bitter and broken hearted that Jay has apparently turned into a fucking liar and back stabber. First sending me that preposterous email where he claimed that he had TOLD me that I would not get insurance when he had blatantly told me the exact opposite, even promising to talk someone who is not a huge fan of mine into accepting the deal. THEN he has the gall to tell Shane that he "offered [me] ample opportunities for work" but I "was not interested." That is such a steaming crock of complete bullshit. His exact words to me were, "GIVE IN. GO ON DISABILITY. RETIRE." There was one comment he made about me looking into on-line schools. I responded that I would be open to that, but that being willing to do it and finding a school that was hiring were two different things.
I begin to wonder what other lies he has told about me. What did he tell the board? I know he told the kids at ROC that I had "retired," which is such a sack of shit! He knows I cannot retire. He also knows it is HIS FAULT that I cannot retire.
I am so tired of having knives twisted into my back by people whom I thought loved me and valued me. And I feel like a fucking fool for ever having believed that.
So, I'm done with all of them. In time I suppose I will forgive them, but I will never trust them again, and I never, ever want to see them again.
Assholes and betrayers.
So now, I guess I have to find a way to move on with my life. Next week I will be looking into going on welfare. Fuck it. Why shouldn't I? I've worked and paid taxes all my life. I deserve it. I paid for it. I'd much rather just retire, but THAT is impossible due to fucking bullshit.
I am tired as hell right now, and my Stewie wants to cuddle, so that is what I am going to do right now--cuddle him and try to go to sleep.
Tyger Lilly fights my attempts to remove her stitches. Of the ten, I still have three left to remove. Her tummy is looking good, but those last stitches have to come out!
I haven't written anything on my nano for the last four days. I have reached 10,000 words, but I need to get to 50,000 before the end of November. This means I am about 6,000 words behind right now. Bleah. I will have to spend most of my day on writing tomorrow.
More drama with Jay and Roc. I loved him. I trusted him. I NEVER EVER thought it was possible that he could lie to me or hurt me. Now, he has done both, repeatedly. My heart is broken, but I am done. I will never speak to him again--nor will I ever set foot in ROC again. I will not be speaking to Susan or Laurie again either. They all played their part in shafting me up the ass.
Well, today I went into the building for the last time. Jay said I could keep my keys--but I no longer feel accepted as a part of the dysfunctional ROC "family." I no longer have any desire to be connected to them. So, today, my mom, my sister Kim and I went to Rochester. Our first stop was ROC, where I dropped off payment for some hot lunches I had last year which I never got the chance to pay for since neither Susan nor Tracy were ever there when I stopped by. I also left all three of my keys in an envelope taped to Tracy's desk.
I did use the staff bathroom for the last time--and those I was tempted to leave a steaming pile there to stink the place up till monday, I flushed. Then I peeked into my replacement's room just to see how she had it arranged. Remarkably, it was not that much different from the way *I* had my room arranged. But that was one of the two things that the English dudes used to judge me unworthy of being a teacher. That and the ridiculous claim of my being "distant" from my students. Really? Really, you assholes? Obviously your heads are so far up your asses that you can see the light through your nostrils.
Am I bitter? Oh, FUCK, yes, I am.
I am even more bitter and broken hearted that Jay has apparently turned into a fucking liar and back stabber. First sending me that preposterous email where he claimed that he had TOLD me that I would not get insurance when he had blatantly told me the exact opposite, even promising to talk someone who is not a huge fan of mine into accepting the deal. THEN he has the gall to tell Shane that he "offered [me] ample opportunities for work" but I "was not interested." That is such a steaming crock of complete bullshit. His exact words to me were, "GIVE IN. GO ON DISABILITY. RETIRE." There was one comment he made about me looking into on-line schools. I responded that I would be open to that, but that being willing to do it and finding a school that was hiring were two different things.
I begin to wonder what other lies he has told about me. What did he tell the board? I know he told the kids at ROC that I had "retired," which is such a sack of shit! He knows I cannot retire. He also knows it is HIS FAULT that I cannot retire.
I am so tired of having knives twisted into my back by people whom I thought loved me and valued me. And I feel like a fucking fool for ever having believed that.
So, I'm done with all of them. In time I suppose I will forgive them, but I will never trust them again, and I never, ever want to see them again.
Assholes and betrayers.
So now, I guess I have to find a way to move on with my life. Next week I will be looking into going on welfare. Fuck it. Why shouldn't I? I've worked and paid taxes all my life. I deserve it. I paid for it. I'd much rather just retire, but THAT is impossible due to fucking bullshit.
I am tired as hell right now, and my Stewie wants to cuddle, so that is what I am going to do right now--cuddle him and try to go to sleep.
