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May 7 through 8
May. 8th, 2020 10:27 pmThursday, May 7
My Target order was delivered today--a small package came Fed Ex. I think Fed Ex must spray some kind of anti-viral or something in their trucks. My test strips and my metformin both came from Fed Ex in separate packages, and both of those packages left dark dusk on my hands and fingers--it looked like I'd been handling news print or ashes after I took the bottles out.
Then, the Target package came. I dropped it on the floor by my recliner, and when I picked it up, there was a large patch of bluish gray powder on the floor, and my fingers were again covered in a dark powdery substance. I used a bleach wipe to clean up the powder on the floor, cut open the box and took out the plastic container of Milano cookies, then took the cardboard box directly out to the recycling bin then washed my hands. I don't know what that shit was, but I didn't like it all over my hands and the floor.
I wiped the plastic container that the cookies came in down with bleach wipes too.
Later the UPS truck came and the driver carried a very large box up to the house. That is still in quarantine in the breeze way. I won't open it till Sunday or Monday. There was no dusty crap on the UPS package. It's a large box, and it is mostly full of crackers, nuts for baking, a couple packages of cookies, and some chocolate candy and some jelly belly jelly beans. It's almost all stuff that the local grocery store doesn't carry. I wanted to stock up a stash of "treat" food as I think it might be hard to find soon.
I used the last of my beef roast to make a sandwich for lunch and ate the last dregs of the apple dumpling for dessert.
I caught up with my DW journal and ate peanut butter and jelly toast for supper. I didn't feel like cooking and wasn't that hungry.
I talked to my brother on the phone. I asked if he was going grocery shopping in the morning, as he has Fridays off and usually does get groceries early on Fridays. I asked if he would pick up a box of alcohol swabs for me as Lerbergs doesn't carry them. I also asked him to pick up a bottle of Mexican pure vanilla, a three pack of clorox wipes, and a box of powdered milk. I told him I'd love as many bottles of Diet Coke that he could get too.
I had a few dishes, so I did them before I went to bed.
Friday, May 8
Last night I had a very intense but disjointed dream. It hopped around from scene to scene and didn't make much sense. But the images were very intense. I was with three or four other people. I do not know them in reality, except I think one of them was once of the nurses I had in the hospital--one of the nice ones. In the dream, I think they were supposed to be either my sisters or my cousins. We were traveling. At one point we were on an old fashioned looking train which was pulled by an enormous black steam engine. It was very shiny and new looking, very clean.
It brought us to a huge wooden platform which was also attached to an enormous hotel that also looked kind of like an airport. It was thick with people. I felt a little anxious about being in such a huge group of people. No one was wearing a mask or any protective gear. The people I was with went outside as everyone was hungry and wanted to get a snack. I went to the counter of the hotel and asked for a ziplock bag.
I needed a ziplock bag because I was carrying a stack of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. I don't recall making them, but it was as if they had just appeared in my hands. I set them on the counter and then felt distressed as I had not thought to wipe down the counter first. I wondered how many people had touched the counter or laid dirty, germy items on it. The lady at the counter looked like my primary doctor, Dr. Vita. (strange). She brought two ziplock bags. I put four of the PBJ sandwiches in that bag and the rest in another bag.
I was worried I'd be left behind as I could no longer see my companions who had walked off.
I carried the small bag of sandwiches with me and left the other at the counter to pick up when I came back.
Then I was looking for a bathroom so I could wash my hands. I decided I needed to pee also, but all the toilets were dirty and I couldn't bring myself to use any of them. I believe this is my subconscious's way to prevent me from peeing the bed. Whenever I dream about using a bathroom, the bathrooms are always filthy or there is no toilet or there are creepy men in there, lurking around or there are no doors on the stalls.
Then I saw my cat, Stewie, wondering through the bathroom. I was so shocked and thrilled to see him! I thought he had somehow followed me to this strange place perhaps by following my scent. I wanted to go and grab him immediately so he didn't wander off or get hurt, but a young Asian girl came up to me and was asking me questions. I tried to answer her while keeping an eye on him, but he went out a side door.
There was suddenly a whole huge bank of large windows along the wall just outside of the bathroom. I could see a gradually sloping hillside that he sauntered down. Out there were all of my sister Joni's cats along with several other cats--and two enormous tigers that were snuggling up against each other. One was a white tiger and the other was an orange one. The cats showed no fear of the tigers and the tigers showed no interest in the cats. The tigers seemed very happy and content. The cats looked like they were having fun exploring the hillside. Stewie kept walking downwards. I was afraid he'd disappear and be lost before I could escape from the girl who was talking and talking and talking.
This is the first time Stewie showed up in my dreams since he died. I really wish I could have held him. He looked good and healthy. I wanted him so much.
Then the dream shifted and I was back at the haunted house I lived in from the time I was four until I was in the third grade. My mother was there along with a bunch of young kids--they might have been my siblings when they were young. I was standing at the bottom of the stairway in the exact place that I saw the doppelganger of my sister when I was a child. I needed to go upstairs for some reason, so I started up. I saw a misty shape at the top of the stairs, just to the left of the landing. It looked like a small child--about the size of a three year old. It was "younger" sized than the doppelganger (who looked about 6-7 then) I had seen many years ago, but I thought it was probably the same creature. By the time I got to the top of the stairs, it was gone.
I looked around but did not see it. I said, "There better not be any little ghost child up here to bother me or I will beat its little ectoplasmic butt." Nothing appeared. I was a little scared that it would pop out at me, but nothing did. I doubt very much that I could actually do anything to a ghost child--my hand would probably just go right through its ectoplasmic form. Creepy.
Then the dream just sort of fizzled out. I was pretty amazed that the upstairs of that haunted house was just like it had been when I lived there so many years ago--except there was a child gate at the top of the stairs that was just kind of leaned up against the posts at the top of the stairs. Nothing like that existed in my childhood. We were all free to just topple down the steep stairway any time we wanted to.
I woke up, went to the bathroom, then went back to bed and slept till about 8:30 this morning.
I called Mom this morning to tell her that McKern Tax Services does have her property tax materials and will be submitting them as soon as they are allowed to. She was worried about that as nothing came back about it in her packet.
I had planned to work on my office all day, but I never got in there at all. I started surfing the internet and ended up lost in it most of the day.
I got a call from Navient about Dean's college loans. They told me he hadn't paid anything since December last year and that they hadn't been able to contact him for several months. I wish he could get this loan paid off as I am very tired of getting all these calls and letters. I wish I had enough money to pay them off for him--but I don't. I suppose his job was not "essential," so he probably isn't making any money. I haven't spoken to him since before I had the kidney surgery in December. I will have to attempt to contact him soon, I suppose.
His outstanding balance due was just short of $200. Yes. I did pay it. That alone will motivate him to work hard to make his own payments. I have sworn to donate the equivalent of the stimulus check I got from the government since I didn't really need it. I don't suppose Dean got one since he married an immigrant.
My state income tax return had been deposited into my account, so I had a little extra cash. Dean is like a son to me. I love him. I have known him since he was a very little boy. His parents are desperately poor and neither is in good health. Dean deserves a break.
I took a shower in the morning--once I begin to actually smell myself, it is time to get the soap and water out! It felt very good to be clean again.
I made the Schwan's chicken and wild rice soup for a very late lunch and ate a piece of the banana spice cake for dessert.
At some point, I got a text from my nephew Caleb telling me that he and my brother Jack would be there in about two minutes to bring the stuff they picked up for me. They had been able to get everything I asked for, even a three pack of bleach wipes. They were not Clorox but were brand x, which is fine with me. I have only one wipe left in my bath room container, so Yay! They also brought me six 6-packs of bottles of Diet Coke, so I have enough to last a long time, since I only drink one bottle per day.
Caleb also walked down to my mail box to pick up my mail for me. There was quite a lot of it since I hadn't got my mail since last week on Friday.
I paid the $40 they had spent on my stuff and was thankful to be able to get it all.
Not much else happened today. I just ate a chocolate fudge ice cream bar for supper. I didn't want anything else.
I don't know what I did to my wrist, but I must have twisted it or something as it has been very painful all evening. Perhaps I've been doing too much typing. Hard to say.
My Target order was delivered today--a small package came Fed Ex. I think Fed Ex must spray some kind of anti-viral or something in their trucks. My test strips and my metformin both came from Fed Ex in separate packages, and both of those packages left dark dusk on my hands and fingers--it looked like I'd been handling news print or ashes after I took the bottles out.
Then, the Target package came. I dropped it on the floor by my recliner, and when I picked it up, there was a large patch of bluish gray powder on the floor, and my fingers were again covered in a dark powdery substance. I used a bleach wipe to clean up the powder on the floor, cut open the box and took out the plastic container of Milano cookies, then took the cardboard box directly out to the recycling bin then washed my hands. I don't know what that shit was, but I didn't like it all over my hands and the floor.
I wiped the plastic container that the cookies came in down with bleach wipes too.
Later the UPS truck came and the driver carried a very large box up to the house. That is still in quarantine in the breeze way. I won't open it till Sunday or Monday. There was no dusty crap on the UPS package. It's a large box, and it is mostly full of crackers, nuts for baking, a couple packages of cookies, and some chocolate candy and some jelly belly jelly beans. It's almost all stuff that the local grocery store doesn't carry. I wanted to stock up a stash of "treat" food as I think it might be hard to find soon.
I used the last of my beef roast to make a sandwich for lunch and ate the last dregs of the apple dumpling for dessert.
I caught up with my DW journal and ate peanut butter and jelly toast for supper. I didn't feel like cooking and wasn't that hungry.
I talked to my brother on the phone. I asked if he was going grocery shopping in the morning, as he has Fridays off and usually does get groceries early on Fridays. I asked if he would pick up a box of alcohol swabs for me as Lerbergs doesn't carry them. I also asked him to pick up a bottle of Mexican pure vanilla, a three pack of clorox wipes, and a box of powdered milk. I told him I'd love as many bottles of Diet Coke that he could get too.
I had a few dishes, so I did them before I went to bed.
Friday, May 8
Last night I had a very intense but disjointed dream. It hopped around from scene to scene and didn't make much sense. But the images were very intense. I was with three or four other people. I do not know them in reality, except I think one of them was once of the nurses I had in the hospital--one of the nice ones. In the dream, I think they were supposed to be either my sisters or my cousins. We were traveling. At one point we were on an old fashioned looking train which was pulled by an enormous black steam engine. It was very shiny and new looking, very clean.
It brought us to a huge wooden platform which was also attached to an enormous hotel that also looked kind of like an airport. It was thick with people. I felt a little anxious about being in such a huge group of people. No one was wearing a mask or any protective gear. The people I was with went outside as everyone was hungry and wanted to get a snack. I went to the counter of the hotel and asked for a ziplock bag.
I needed a ziplock bag because I was carrying a stack of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. I don't recall making them, but it was as if they had just appeared in my hands. I set them on the counter and then felt distressed as I had not thought to wipe down the counter first. I wondered how many people had touched the counter or laid dirty, germy items on it. The lady at the counter looked like my primary doctor, Dr. Vita. (strange). She brought two ziplock bags. I put four of the PBJ sandwiches in that bag and the rest in another bag.
I was worried I'd be left behind as I could no longer see my companions who had walked off.
I carried the small bag of sandwiches with me and left the other at the counter to pick up when I came back.
Then I was looking for a bathroom so I could wash my hands. I decided I needed to pee also, but all the toilets were dirty and I couldn't bring myself to use any of them. I believe this is my subconscious's way to prevent me from peeing the bed. Whenever I dream about using a bathroom, the bathrooms are always filthy or there is no toilet or there are creepy men in there, lurking around or there are no doors on the stalls.
Then I saw my cat, Stewie, wondering through the bathroom. I was so shocked and thrilled to see him! I thought he had somehow followed me to this strange place perhaps by following my scent. I wanted to go and grab him immediately so he didn't wander off or get hurt, but a young Asian girl came up to me and was asking me questions. I tried to answer her while keeping an eye on him, but he went out a side door.
There was suddenly a whole huge bank of large windows along the wall just outside of the bathroom. I could see a gradually sloping hillside that he sauntered down. Out there were all of my sister Joni's cats along with several other cats--and two enormous tigers that were snuggling up against each other. One was a white tiger and the other was an orange one. The cats showed no fear of the tigers and the tigers showed no interest in the cats. The tigers seemed very happy and content. The cats looked like they were having fun exploring the hillside. Stewie kept walking downwards. I was afraid he'd disappear and be lost before I could escape from the girl who was talking and talking and talking.
This is the first time Stewie showed up in my dreams since he died. I really wish I could have held him. He looked good and healthy. I wanted him so much.
Then the dream shifted and I was back at the haunted house I lived in from the time I was four until I was in the third grade. My mother was there along with a bunch of young kids--they might have been my siblings when they were young. I was standing at the bottom of the stairway in the exact place that I saw the doppelganger of my sister when I was a child. I needed to go upstairs for some reason, so I started up. I saw a misty shape at the top of the stairs, just to the left of the landing. It looked like a small child--about the size of a three year old. It was "younger" sized than the doppelganger (who looked about 6-7 then) I had seen many years ago, but I thought it was probably the same creature. By the time I got to the top of the stairs, it was gone.
I looked around but did not see it. I said, "There better not be any little ghost child up here to bother me or I will beat its little ectoplasmic butt." Nothing appeared. I was a little scared that it would pop out at me, but nothing did. I doubt very much that I could actually do anything to a ghost child--my hand would probably just go right through its ectoplasmic form. Creepy.
Then the dream just sort of fizzled out. I was pretty amazed that the upstairs of that haunted house was just like it had been when I lived there so many years ago--except there was a child gate at the top of the stairs that was just kind of leaned up against the posts at the top of the stairs. Nothing like that existed in my childhood. We were all free to just topple down the steep stairway any time we wanted to.
I woke up, went to the bathroom, then went back to bed and slept till about 8:30 this morning.
I called Mom this morning to tell her that McKern Tax Services does have her property tax materials and will be submitting them as soon as they are allowed to. She was worried about that as nothing came back about it in her packet.
I had planned to work on my office all day, but I never got in there at all. I started surfing the internet and ended up lost in it most of the day.
I got a call from Navient about Dean's college loans. They told me he hadn't paid anything since December last year and that they hadn't been able to contact him for several months. I wish he could get this loan paid off as I am very tired of getting all these calls and letters. I wish I had enough money to pay them off for him--but I don't. I suppose his job was not "essential," so he probably isn't making any money. I haven't spoken to him since before I had the kidney surgery in December. I will have to attempt to contact him soon, I suppose.
His outstanding balance due was just short of $200. Yes. I did pay it. That alone will motivate him to work hard to make his own payments. I have sworn to donate the equivalent of the stimulus check I got from the government since I didn't really need it. I don't suppose Dean got one since he married an immigrant.
My state income tax return had been deposited into my account, so I had a little extra cash. Dean is like a son to me. I love him. I have known him since he was a very little boy. His parents are desperately poor and neither is in good health. Dean deserves a break.
I took a shower in the morning--once I begin to actually smell myself, it is time to get the soap and water out! It felt very good to be clean again.
I made the Schwan's chicken and wild rice soup for a very late lunch and ate a piece of the banana spice cake for dessert.
At some point, I got a text from my nephew Caleb telling me that he and my brother Jack would be there in about two minutes to bring the stuff they picked up for me. They had been able to get everything I asked for, even a three pack of bleach wipes. They were not Clorox but were brand x, which is fine with me. I have only one wipe left in my bath room container, so Yay! They also brought me six 6-packs of bottles of Diet Coke, so I have enough to last a long time, since I only drink one bottle per day.
Caleb also walked down to my mail box to pick up my mail for me. There was quite a lot of it since I hadn't got my mail since last week on Friday.
I paid the $40 they had spent on my stuff and was thankful to be able to get it all.
Not much else happened today. I just ate a chocolate fudge ice cream bar for supper. I didn't want anything else.
I don't know what I did to my wrist, but I must have twisted it or something as it has been very painful all evening. Perhaps I've been doing too much typing. Hard to say.