My Kind of Humor

 

the Ham (21% dark, 56% spontaneous, 16% vulgar)

your humor style: CLEAN | SPONTANEOUS | LIGHT Your style's mostly goofy, innocent and feel-good. Perfect for parties and for the dads who chaperone them. You can actually get away with corny jokes, and I bet your sense of humor is a guilty pleasure for your friends. People of your type are often the most approachable and popular people in their circle. Your simple & silly good-naturedness is immediately recognizable, and it sets you apart in this sarcastic world. PEOPLE LIKE YOU: Will Ferrell - Will Smith

Invisible Ninjas

I feel like invisible ninjas have stomped on me all night long.  My back aches.  I think I was so physically and emotionally exhausted that once I fell asleep, I just lay there like a lead balloon.  Now I'm stiff and feel misaligned.

My painting class went well yesterday.  I am very pleased with the orange in my still life.  The apple looks like shit.  I'm quite pleased with the way my mannequin is shaping up.  When it is done, I will take a picture and post it up--like I did with my teapot.  This one is turning out much better than the teapot.  It isn't art, but I'm pleased with the fact that my objects at least look like the objects they are supposed to be.

I had weird dreams last night--three different dreams, all weird as shit.

The first one is fuzzy, but I know it was about some guy who murdered somebody.  But I have lost all the particulars.

The second one was about a woman who was a serial killer.  In the dream, she was Renee Zellweiger.  She was killing people off one by one.  The dream was very involved--but it is fading fast now. 

I remember her strangling people--all of whom were men, if I remember right--with some kind of long wire.  There were dead guys laying all over the yard.  I don't know why the stupid men didn't just get in their cars and drive away--but they didn't.  One guy must not have been quite dead after she strangled him--she had buried him in the sand right outside the front door, and he had managed to work just his hand and arm up through the sand.  It was hanging out and dangling along the ground, limp.

I heard someone saying the Lord's Prayer, and found some skinny older guy in a tiny room, on his knees praying and crying.  I told him he should just get in his car and drive away, but he said he was too scared.

Stupid man.  I'm sure he was her next victim, but I didn't actually see him killed.

The weird thing about Renee was that she seemed to feel really bad about killing all these people.  She was crying and saying she was sorry as she throttled one guy.

Heh.

I don't know why she didn't come after me, but she didn't.  Saving me for last, I suppose.

The third dream was bizarre.  I was in a hotel room, but it was like a conference room--and I was taking an art class or maybe TEACHING an art class with a bunch of kids.  A lot of them were hispanic.  My mom and sister Tammy were both there.  We had only rented this room for a few hours for the class.  There were two young housekeepers and a police/security type guy in the room, watching as we packed stuff up.  Mom and Tammy packed up and took off immediately. 

For some unknown reason, I had shitloads of stuff.  Boxes and boxes of stuff.

And I was sorting through stuff, because a lot of it was trash.  And the weirdest shit!  I found a shopping back full of potato peelings!  Why would I have a box of potato peelings??

And the drawers of the cabinets were full of weird stuff.  One drawer was full of  half used rolls of Rolaids. 

I even had an aquarium full of fish!!

It made no sense at all.

Mainly, I felt frustrated...and a little resentful that mom and Tammy didn't stay to help me load up all the stuff.

I wonder what that kind of dream means?  Too much stuff in my life?  Too much clutter?  That would be an appropriate evaluation, probably.

Well, it is after 10 am, and I need to eat breakfast.

I haven't taken my drugs yet either, so I better get on with it.

Today's list of goals:

• finish the laundry
• clean the dining room--including dusting and vacuuming and cleaning out the drawers and cabinets
• pick up the clutter in my bedroom
• start putting the doll clothes in the drawer carts I bought for that purpose.
• vacuum and dust my bedroom.
• cook something that I can eat the rest of the week--a hot dish or some soup or something.
• bake cookies.

That's enough for one day, I think.

The cookie baking is questionable.

It is a nice cool day for baking, though.

 

 

 

Would I have been a Nazi??

 

http://www.okcupid.com/tests/take?testid=17675020579094199926

 

 

The Expatriate Achtung! You are 23% brainwashworthy, 31% antitolerant, and 9% blindly patriotic

Congratulations! You are not susceptible to brainwashing, your values and cares extend beyond the borders of your own country, and your Blind Patriotism ("patriotism" for short) does not reach unhealthy levels. In Germany in the 30s, you would've left the country. One bad scenario -- as I hypothetically project you back in time -- is that you just wouldn't have cared one way or the other about Nazism. Maybe politics don't interest you enough. But the fact that you took this test means they probably do. I'm gonna give you the benefit of the doubt. Did you know that many of the smartest Germans departed prior to the beginning of World War II, because they knew some evil shit was brewing? Brain Drain. Many of them were scientists. It is very possible you could be one of them, depending on your age. Conclusion: Born and raised in Germany in the early 1930's, you would not have been a Nazi.     My test tracked 3 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 18% on brainwashworthy You scored higher than 45% on antitolerant You scored higher than 0% on patriotic

The Personality Defect Test

http://www.okcupid.com/tests/take?testid=4741219933576750506

Hippie

You are 14% Rational, 57% Extroverted, 28% Brutal, and 42% Arrogant. You are the Hippie! Characterized by a strong sense of extroversion, irrationality, gentleness, and humility, you no doubt frolic through fields preaching peace and love to all! You are probably either very spiritual or needlessly paranoid about "the man", like most hippies, as a result of your focus on intuition and feelings over cold, brutal logic. You are also very, very social. And like any hippie, who would have no qualms about hitchiking across the country just to meet some interesting people, you too love to interact with others, even complete strangers. Because we know most any hippie is peace-loving and humble, it stands to reason that you, as well, are terribly gentle and humble, almost to the point of revulsion. Your carefree attitude of peace and harmony is probably very, very sickening to realists or cynics or anyone who isn't a hippie, to tell the truth. In short, your personality is defective because you are overly emotional, extroverted, gentle, and humble--thus making you an annoying hippie. And you listen to psychadelic rock and smoke a whole lot of pot. Okay, maybe not, but I wouldn't be surprised if you did.

To put it less negatively:

1. You are more INTUITIVE than rational.

2. You are more EXTROVERTED than introverted.

3. You are more GENTLE than brutal.

4. You are more HUMBLE than arrogant.

Compatibility:

Your exact opposite is the Sociopath.

Other personalities you would probably get along with are the Hand-Raiser, the Televangelist, and the Robot.

*

 

 

Hey, I am TOTALLY okay with being a hippie.

Lee is Gone.

I am amazed that they disconnected life support already--I thought they'd keep him going for at least a week...but it's probably better this way.

The funeral will be Saturday at 11.  That will be a horrible ordeal.  It's just so wrong that he is dead.

All of his usable organs were donated.  At least he is giving the gift of life to others--a final gift.

My heart aches for his children--for Patty--for his parents--for my brother--and for myself.

Lee was a good person.

This should not have happened.

But--there is nothing to do but go on.  Reaffirm life by living it.

Sigh.