As promised--i did not spend the day in bed.

Of course, I did not get up until 11, and that's only because someone texted me and the phone kept giving me the alert noise every few minutes. 

I folded and hung up my laundry that had been sitting in baskets for a couple of days.  I also sacked up a ton of garbage upstairs--and there is still more up there that needs to be dealt with. 

I didn't get downstairs till nearly 1 pm, but I heated up some left over potatoes, carrots, and roast beef, ate it, and took my morning meds.  I guess I will skip my pm meds as it will be too close to when i took the morning ones to take them at supper time. 

I have been tidying up the house and sacking garbage all day.  I had just a huge bunch of crap that had sort of accumulated by the side of my bed--most of it was just garbage that i threw away.  I cleaned out my bedside table's top drawer as it tends to accumulate all sorts of stuff that doesn't belong in there, which makes it hard to find the stuff that DOES belong in there that I use every day.

Like my deoderant, for example.

I made a kick ass new family for my Sims neighborhood--a mom and a dad and two little girls and a groovy cat that I made myself.  (Well, sorta--I used the "modification" features on the SIMS game).  And I built them a kick ass house too.  It has a fenced in playground for the children that has every jungle gym toy that is available in the Sims game there for the kids to play on.  I am mad at Lola, though (one of hte little girls) because she has rebuffed her father every time that he has attempted to talk  to her or play with her.  she keeps this shit up and i will put her in a room without doors and let her starve to death then replace her with an "adopted" little girl.  Then she'll be sorry.  Heh.  The Sims people always want to see ghosts, so they could see her little ghost drifting around.  Snotty little thing.

Sims is great because it is like playing with paper dolls or barbies only no mess is made and when you are sick of it, you just save the game and move on.  No clean up.  No storage.  No lost shoes.  No fucking squirrel getting into the house and chewing the face off any of the people.  Sigh.

i hate squirrels.  Big bushy tailed rats that crawl all over your house and get in and chew on everything and destroy it.

I would kill all of the ones that live in my neighborhood if I wasn't such a wuss.

lol.

Anyhow--I cleaned out the cat boxes and changed the piddle pads that I put near them as the cat pees on the floor whenever she gets irritated with me.  Then I swept the floor. 

Earlier I had done a massive amount of dish washing earlier and scrubbed down the counters and the stove.  Before I go to bed, I will refill my pill caddies. 

I read a few more chapters of Brisinger.  i need to get that finished up so I can get it back to Doug, who lent it to me.

I am still feeling lonely for my friend today, but i am also feeling stronger.  My heart still feels his loving presence.  I am using what I have learned from him to re-evaluate my own life and see what i need to do to make my life better, richer, more authentic.  I don't think i am in a terrible place, but I DO  think that I am not where I should be or where I can be.  Having to say good bye to him was hard and sad--but i am going to use the strength I gained from our relationship to better myself--my life.  I am hoping that he will also use any strength i helped him gain to make his life as beautiful and rich and good as he is himself.  God bless him and his family. 

I have jettisoned some toxic people from my life.  It was hard.  I didn't realize just HOW toxic they were until after I began to set some boundaries--then it became terribly clear.  Terribly.  In the beginning of this i tried to keep the friendship and be gentle...but now, I realize that there has never been any authenticity in this relationship.  I was loving people who don't care about anyone else--not really.  They know  the words, but have no idea of the actual substance of the meanings.  I am well rid of them.  I am just sorry it took me so long and cost me so much (both financially and personally)  to realize it.   Well, I realize it now, and I can let go of any residual sadness over it. 

I wish them well in their self-absorbed, self-centered, dishonest existence. 

Bitter?  Well, maybe just a touch.  But i will get over it--I've gotten past much worse.

Life is too good--too short--too precious to waste a second of it.  I am not going to waste any more of it.

i have to balance my checkbook and pay my bills.  Thank God I have a good job.  Everything is so expensive.  Thank you, "trickle down" theory.  I am working my way through my debts.  I am doing well at paying them down.  Soon i will be debt free.  Then life will be easier.

Another thing i am trying to do to improve my life is to get rid of about 50% of my possessions.  I have too much crap.  I want to get rid of everything i do not truly love or truly use. 

I'm tired of feeling burdened by stuff that I don't want or need.

Ok.

That's it for me today.  if I have time, I might do another chapter of Proverbs. 

I've given up on the Nano.  i just can't do it this year.  Too much fucking drama. 

I AM going to start writing again--not because I anticipate publishing anything and becoming filthy rich--but because I LOVE to write.  Why should I not do something i love to do?

Tomorrow is another day.

It will be a better day too.