Writer's Block: Blast to the past
Sep. 7th, 2011 08:23 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
chochiyo_samaHello, ten-year-old Cheryl. Listen very carefully...Pay more attention to math. Do not become a teacher. It will break your heart. Become an accountant or an auditor. Don't be afraid to tell people to fuck off and die. Not everyone has to like you. When Carl Weiseman pulls up your dress and tries to pull your underpants down, punch him right in the nose or eye, as hard as you can. When the old biddy elementary teachers tell you, "He just likes you." Tell them to fuck off and die. Then kick them in the shin as hard as you can. What do you have to lose?
Stop worrying about the end of the world. Chances are it ain't happening during your life time...and even if it was, there is nothing you can do about it. Put your Roy Rogers paper dolls somewhere that no one else knows about. Then your sister will not suck on their heads and destroy them.
Save all your toys. Play gently with them. Someday they will be worth a fortune.
[Error: unknown template qotd]Beg for as many Barbies as you can. Buy them up at second hand stores as you get older. They will be worth a fortune.
Start now and save half of every coin that comes your way. You won't ever regret it.
Forget about beer. It is a complete waste of money. Plus, you will regret all the stupid things you did the next day.
You are not fat. Do not hide in the house and feel ashamed. You are just right. Your sisters are scrawny. You look bigger in comparison...don't drown your sorrows in cookies. When your aunt tells you you are lucky you are smart because you sure aren't pretty, you tell her that she's pretty--pretty rude, that is. Then tell her beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Ha!
Finally, I encourage you to take up martial arts as soon as possible. Then I encourage you to beat the living shit out of Rodney Wayne and his butt ugly brother Jeff. And when their bitch ass mother runs over your cat while you and your sisters are getting the cows across the road, pick up the biggest rock you can find and put it right through her windshield.
That's about it.
Stop worrying about the end of the world. Chances are it ain't happening during your life time...and even if it was, there is nothing you can do about it. Put your Roy Rogers paper dolls somewhere that no one else knows about. Then your sister will not suck on their heads and destroy them.
Save all your toys. Play gently with them. Someday they will be worth a fortune.
[Error: unknown template qotd]Beg for as many Barbies as you can. Buy them up at second hand stores as you get older. They will be worth a fortune.
Start now and save half of every coin that comes your way. You won't ever regret it.
Forget about beer. It is a complete waste of money. Plus, you will regret all the stupid things you did the next day.
You are not fat. Do not hide in the house and feel ashamed. You are just right. Your sisters are scrawny. You look bigger in comparison...don't drown your sorrows in cookies. When your aunt tells you you are lucky you are smart because you sure aren't pretty, you tell her that she's pretty--pretty rude, that is. Then tell her beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Ha!
Finally, I encourage you to take up martial arts as soon as possible. Then I encourage you to beat the living shit out of Rodney Wayne and his butt ugly brother Jeff. And when their bitch ass mother runs over your cat while you and your sisters are getting the cows across the road, pick up the biggest rock you can find and put it right through her windshield.
That's about it.
Karmageddon!
Date: 2011-09-08 02:51 am (UTC)