January 11-19, 2021
Jan. 19th, 2021 10:54 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
chochiyo_samaI caught up with the DreamWidth journal and worked on the burnt sugar on the small roaster. I don’t think I will ever get ALL of that sugar off, but it is getting much better than it was.
I did not over exert myself at all today as I did not want to fire up the pain in my back or side from the kidney stones. I was fortunate to have no pain at all today—at least nothing rising to the level of seriously impeding my life.
Lily will take me to the hospital on Wednesday morning. I have to be there by 8:30 am, and the surgery itself is scheduled for 10:00 or so. My brother Jack will pick me up on his way home from work around 4:30 pm. They said I will probably be allowed to leave around 3 pm if I have a ride home, but it is okay for me to stay later if no one can get me till then.
I can hardly wait for this to be over. Kidney stones just SUCK the gigantic weenie.
Tuesday, January 12
I put away a basket of laundry from last week and washed, dried, and folded this week’s laundry. I packed a suitcase as I will likely stay at my mother’s for a couple of days after the surgery. The surgeon is insisting that I should not be on my own for at least twenty-four hours after the surgery. And another snow storm/blizzard has been predicted for Friday/Saturday, so I will likely be stuck there a little longer.
I had hoped to get my whole house thoroughly cleaned before leaving, but there was just no way to do it and not stir up more pain for myself. I did wash my dishes, clean the litter boxes, take one bag of garbage and two bags of recycling out to the bins outside, and broke down a bunch of cardboard boxes to go out with the recycling.
I made myself a couple of toasted Swiss cheese open faced sandwiches and ate a carton of yogurt. I have little appetite, but I felt I had to eat something just to maintain my strength. I got a call that my Covid test came back negative, so that was a good thing. I figured there was no way I could be positive as I have not left my house except to go to the clinic and the ER, and that only recently, and I am exposed to absolutely NO ONE except my aunt (who always keeps her distance) and the grocery delivery guy and the Schwan’s man and very rarely, my mother.
I wrote out a check for my Sequoia (snow removal) bill so I could mail that tomorrow and finished reading Porcelain White, the book my friend Julie Granger wrote. I am very proud of her for having the courage to go ahead and write a book and have enough faith in it to get it published. I did see a lot of issues with it that her publisher missed. I am uncertain if I should bring them to her attention or just tell her I enjoyed the story. As an English teacher, I am such a perfectionist regarding books. Issues with tense or faulty construction make me crazy.
Obviously, things are different with blogs and journals. They are by nature “freer” in expression.
I thought I would die trying to get the heavy bag of garbage into the garbage in outside, but I got it in—I think God sent an angel to help me get it up and in as I seriously thought I was going to fall over when I tried the first time. I am just weak from this kidney stone shit. At least there was no horrific pain again today.
I am both dreading tomorrow and impatient for it to come and be done with. I just want to heal and get strong again.
Wednesday, January 13
Ugh. The day has arrived. I got up early to take the super duper shower they told me to take—scrubbing every inch of myself within an inch of my life. I did my morning business, finished packing my suitcase with the things I needed for the morning, and took the Fairy Bones books with to read at Mom’s. Lily will drop my suitcase off at Mom’s on her way home again.
Lily took me to the hospital, and a woman took me from the lobby up to the outpatient surgery area in a wheelchair. I sat in the waiting room up there all alone for about half an hour as Lily had to go on to her own appointments after dropping me off.
Another nurse charged me a $250 co-pay at the desk and then they took me into a very tiny room and gave me a paper gown, a surgical hat, and a pair of gripper slippers to put on. Two or three different people asked me the same questions at different times—am I allergic to eggs? Latex? Any medications? Do I have any Covid symptoms? Did I eat anything today? Drink? Did I have a ride home? Would someone be with me for at least 24 hours after the surgery? Did I have any questions?
I told them about my horrific experience in Methodist Hospital after my last kidney stone experience, and they assured me I would not have a negative experience here. I told them I did not want any kind of medication that would affect my memory and NO Fentanyl as it suppresses my respiration and lasts at least two or three days in my system. The anesthesiologist assured me that he would not give me Fentanyl. So, I was happy. The surgeon came in and told me in detail what the surgery would be like and how I would feel afterwards. The nurse checked in on me frequently.
She was skilled at sticking the IV into the back of my right hand. She did it perfectly on the first try. That was such a blessing as before, it took them nearly an hour to get it in and my arm was black and blue from my fingers all the way to my elbow. Her name was Tawnee. She was very kind and professional.
Then it was just waiting. I had hoped that my surgery would take place on time, but it ended up happening an hour or so later than it was supposed to. They took me into the operating room and were kind and friendly the whole time. I was anxious but not overly so. The operating room was HUGE. The operating rooms were much smaller and more cluttered in Rochester. They let me hold the mask myself so I didn’t get a flashback of my dad suffocating me like I did in Rochester. He thought it was quite the lark to hold his hand over my nose and mouth when I was a child and hold it there till my eyes rolled back in my head and I passed out.
I don’t remember being asked to count backwards or anything. Time just stopped for me till I woke up in a hallway like room where I was holding on to a blue plastic barf bag that looked like a giant condom. Apparently I had been talking about needing one before I was fully conscious. I asked if I had said anything crazy or frightening when I came out of the anesthetic. The nurse who was with me said, “You asked for a barf bag and said you had phlegm.”
LOL. Apparently I didn’t threaten my own or anyone else’s life this time. No one was gung ho to send me to the psyche ward, anyhow.
I wasn’t in that room very long. Then they returned me to my little cubby where I dozed. My stupid heart/bloodpressure/respiriation monitor kept beeping which kept me awake. I remember asking the nurse if she could MUTE that thing so it just notified the desk and NOT ME. I just wanted to sleep. She tried, but it kept going off anyhow.
There was a tv in the room, but I had no desire to watch it. I was cold and uncomfortable lying on my back. Otherwise, I didn’t have any major pain. I guess they had some sort of pain med going directly into my vein. I squirmed my way into a position sort of on my side and tried to get warm. I would have liked another blanket but hadn’t the motivation to buzz for the nurse to ask for one.
I did have to bug them to go to the bathroom twice.
The surgeon came in and told me the operation had gone well, all three stones were removed and I could go home as soon as I ate, peed, and drank. Well, I had already peed twice. They brought me a zucchini muffin and a cup of really hot tea. I eventually ate and drank those without puking and had to go to the bathroom again. The nurse walked me to the toilet which was right across from my little cubby hole. There was blood on the toilet seat, and I tried to scrub it off with a damp piece of toilet paper as I didn’t want to sit on someone else’s blood. While doing this, I had some sort of spasm in my bladder or kidney and peed all over the floor. I felt terrible, but it really wasn’t my fault. I pulled the string for the nurse and told her what had happened and told her I was sorry.
She said, “Don’t worry about it. That is totally normal, and we deal with this all the time. Don’t even think about it.” I was so grateful for her kindness that I almost started to bawl.
They were not like that to me in Rochester.
After a while, I had a little diarrhea which did not end up on the floor, and then I was good for the rest of my stay. I just dozed and waited for my brother to arrive. They had me get dressed at about 4 pm, and he arrived around 4:30. I managed to get fully dressed on my own. The only thing the nurse helped me do was get my shoes on.
They gave me two prescriptions right at the hospital and didn’t even demand money for them. They said they’d bill me. One was for something that was supposed to open up the ureters and flush out the kidneys and bladder and the other was a pain med. They told me to drink 2 liters of fluid a day. I am sure I did NOT drink that much, but I drank as much as I could.
She gave me some oxy just before I got dressed, and I didn’t have any significant pain at all at the hospital. My brother drove me home. We stopped at the Casey’s store on the edge of Ellendale and he went in and bought me five bottles of diet Coke as I was nearly out at home. He took me to Mom’s and walked by me to the front door and up the steps into her house to make sure I didn’t fall. The sidewalk was clear of snow and ice, so I was able to walk. I just took it slow. I knew there was no way I could get up the steps in my mother’s garage, but the steps up to her main floor have a railing on one side and a wooden thing on the other side so I could get all the way up hanging on to both sides and sort of pulling myself up.
I felt weak and sickish and didn’t know if I could get all the way up, but I did.
I sat in the recliner for the rest of the day. Jack carried mom’s Christmas tree out to the three season’s porch and talked for maybe 15 minutes before heading home. Mom offered me a bowl of greasy, spicy chili for supper, and I told her I would puke if I ate anything like that, so I had a bowl of cheerios for supper.
I basically slept in the recliner, rising only to pee, and went to bed pretty early. I slept well. I took another pain pill at about 3:30 in the morning and had to get up 2-3 times in the night to pee. I was pleased that I was strong enough to get to the bathroom without help. I am sure I would have been fine in my own home, but it was good to have my mom fetching me water and tea when I needed something.
I survived yet another surgery. It was the easiest one of them all. I just felt tired and weak and a little sick. Not miserable or in agony.
Thursday, January 14
I spent most of the day sleeping in the recliner. Mom made me a poached egg and toast for breakfast. It sat uneasily in my stomach but I didn’t puke. For a late lunch, she made macaroni and cheese which gave me horrible indigestion and I thought surely I would puke my guts out, but I survived it.
Lily stopped over to bring mom’s and my mail. She had been to my house to feed and brush Peaches.
The horrible weather that was expected for today did not come until later in the night. I woke in the night to the wind howling and snow flying around outside the window.
I had a couple of pain pills which kept most serious pain away.
The worst part of today was the constant, urgent peeing and the hard spasms in my back and side every time I had to pee. I got hardly any rest overnight as I had to get up at least every hour to pee, and the pee just ran out of me on the way to the bathroom. I took a bath towel to bed with me to catch it so I would not pee all over my mother’s bed or carpet. It was very unpleasant.
Friday, January 15
Today was better. I did not pee all over myself nearly as much today. I hope that phase of the healing is over. It is so frustrating to have no control over it at all.
I am getting plenty of rest by just sitting around on the recliner, dozing occasionally, and drinking fluids and peeing frequently. It snowed a lot, but the city and Sequoia got it cleaned up quickly. We never got the hellacious winds we were expecting, which was a good thing.
Lily has plans to go up to the Cities to see Haylie and her baby on Wednesday, so she will not be able to take me to my appointment at the clinic on Wednesday to have the stents removed. Jack has no sick leave or vacation time left, so he cannot take me. I am not supposed to drive myself for two weeks after the surgery. My only hope is Joni who is retired now, but I hate to ask her as she and Jeff are constantly running all over the planet, exposing themselves to every germ that is out there. I want to cry at the thought of riding in a closed car with them—I KNOW Jeff will insist on going too. He can’t let Joni out of his sight for a second. I have been so safe and careful since February, and now THIS.
It's so frustrating. I feel so powerless.
I had cheerios for breakfast, and mom made a very greasy and acidic meatloaf with a baked sweet potato for lunch. Again, I got the acid reflux from the meatloaf, but I didn’t puke. My mother is a horrible cook, especially for a person who is recovering from surgery. She doesn’t understand the concept of NO grease, NO acid, No spice. Oh well. I lived.
The sweet potato was good.
It was another wakeful night with way more peeing than was necessary. I feel like I reek of pee.
Saturday, January 16
Mom made very greasy bacon and fried eggs and toast for breakfast. Again, it did not set well in my belly. I didn’t get quite as nasty indigestion this time, but again, really? Is there nothing in the house that is not solid grease?
I am in a grumpy mood.
Lily will be coming to take me home later today. I told her around 4 pm would be good. Mom made banana pudding from scratch for our late lunch. That was all I wanted. No more grease. Please.
We watched TV and chatted between naps. I had a lot of issues with that spasming in my low back and side. It hurt so much. But I refused to take any pain pills as I didn’t have many to begin with and I want to hold some back just in case I REALLY need one later. I packed up my suitcase and Mom rolled it into the kitchen for me. Lily came about 4:30 and helped me into the house and brought in my suitcase and the bag that held my mail and other stuff.
My little Peaches was VERY glad that her momma was home and we had to snuggle for a very long time. I had a lot of pain tonight, probably from the exertion of getting out of mom’s house and into my own house over all the snow and ice. I felt hungry but the thought of eating food made me feel so sick.
I went to bed in my own bed at about 9 pm. I was up at least twice an hour peeing my brains out. It was horrific. I again took a bath towel to bed with me as it just ran out of me as if a faucet was turned on. I left a trail from the side of my bed to the toilet every trip. I just cried and peed all night long.
I called the clinic, and apparently this is “normal.” It sure doesn’t FEEL normal.
In other news, they told me to start taking the Eloquis again and the entire back of my right hand is black and purple from the IV. It hurts.
Sunday, January 17
After the horrid night of peeing and restless sleep due to the constant peeing, I felt depressed and crabby. Peaches was also needy from being left alone so long and woke me up constantly when I did fall asleep for reassurance cuddles. Thank goodness that the peeing slowed down significantly during the daylight hours, although I am still having those horribly painful spasms every time I need to pee.
I had no energy or will to eat, but I did eat a bowl of Rice Chex and a carton of yogurt in the afternoon. Peaches drank the left over milk from the cereal. She was quite pleased with herself.
Joni has agreed to take me to the Clinic to have the stents removed, and of COURSE, Jeff intends to come along. WHY??? I am going to make him take out two heavy bags of garbage as long as he insists on coming here. I am not supposed to lift anything over 20 lbs, and I would bet that garbage is at least 35 lbs or more.
I called Becky LaZahn whose kids mow my yard to see if one of them would come over and drag my full garbage and recycling bins to the curb, but there was no answer. I left a message on her machine, but never heard back from her, so I texted Jack to see if he would come and haul them out for me on his way home from work. (He had to work today.) I had just got a text from him saying he would be over in a while to take out the stuff when Becky pulled up and dragged both of them out. I had offered money for them to be hauled out but she just hopped back in her car and left, so I called Jack and told him he did not have to come. Becky had done it. She is such a kind soul. She was Joni’s best friend when they were in high school.
I had a quiet day. My only accomplishments were to catch up on my Daily Devotion book as I didn’t take it with me to mom’s and to fill my pill caddy.
I did NOT take that med that makes me pee so much as I NEED a night of actual rest.
Monday, January 18
I slept last night. It was glorious. I still had to get up to pee 4-5 times, but that was better than 2-3 times an hour. Just being able to sleep made me feel so much better today. I even feel a tiny tiny bit of energy.
I immediately killed that by unpacking my suitcase and taking all my pee soaked laundry into the laundry room. I found a package of Oreo cookies, and I ate a few in the morning and afternoon. I had no will to cook or eat much. In the early evening, I made a can of Campbell’s chicken noodle soup and ate that with crackers. It was unsatisfying but at least it was hot.
I am so fucking thankful that these stents are coming out on Wednesday. It will almost be worth getting Covid to Get Them Out.
Jack dropped over in the afternoon and pulled the garbage can back up to the house. The recycling goes tomorrow.
I noticed today that it is staying lighter longer. Spring is coming. It cannot be stopped. It was sunny today which made me feel a little more cheerful. I am tired of feeling blah. I want to feel good again.
Tuesday, January 19
It was a quiet day, and there was a surprise gentle snowfall all day long. It was not supposed to snow today. Apparently it was icy and lots of cars went into the ditch between here and Owatonna. Lily had several appointments at the Clinic today. She asked if I needed anything, and I told her if she went to HyVee, I would love it if she picked me up a couple of entrees from the Chinese section of the deli. She got me orders of Mongolian Beef and General Tso’s Chicken. Both were awful. Over cooked, over salted, and disgusting. She had had a horrible day with car trouble and bad news from her doctor so I told her they were delicious and life saving as I was so hungry that I ate some of each any way. Most of the leftovers are going straight into the garbage. I was so disappointed. HyVee used to have really good Chinese food. Not any more.
Lily had tests last week, and the results show there is something wrong with her heart which is not beating right and is enlarged. She has been complaining about being short of breath and not having any energy, so her doctor gave her these tests. Now she has to go early tomorrow morning to the Faribault hospital and have more tests to see what is wrong.
I am very concerned. She will be 80 next month on the 3rd. Anything could be wrong with her at this age. The only good thing about this is maybe this will prevent her from heading to Covid Country in Texass. I do not want her to go there. Those people are all lunatics who worship tRUMP and do not live cautiously. I am so afraid that if she goes there she will get that shit and die. Probably alone in that fucking trailer since they have no beds available in their hospitals and will just leave the elderly to die in their homes for the sake of the mother fucking stock market.
Fuck Texass and fuck their fucking Lt. Governor in every orifice. With a cactus.
Thank God that tomorrow I will have these stents removed. Then maybe I can return to normal. I am so tired of feeling like a run down battery. I am on my way to bed now. I have to get up early to take a shower and get ready to go to the Clinic. Joni and Jeff will be here to take me around 10 tomorrow morning. My appointment will be at 10:45. The nurse called today and told me that the appointment should only take about half an hour. I hope that is right. I just want this to be OVER.
Sorry to be such a crabby old bat. I’m just so grumpy.
no subject
Date: 2021-01-20 07:38 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2021-01-20 09:55 am (UTC)Hope the removal goes well.
no subject
Date: 2021-01-20 06:03 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2021-01-21 09:43 pm (UTC)Your own Father did that? Man, between him and your Mother I'm surprised any of you grew up normal.
Now you know you never need to go to Rochester every again.
Not sure about the enlarged part but I know they have meds for that. But the irregular beating may result in Lily getting a pacemaker. My Mom got one in her 80s. She's already had it replaced once because of batteries and an upgraded model.
I hope that Joni and her husband wore masks out of respect for you, at the very least.
Today the county Covid announced that people over 75 could start getting vaccinated. I am hoping that I'll be able to get mine by the third week in February so that I can get my second before I have to report to jury duty. *IF* they have managed to fix that fuck-up in scheduling.