November 19 through 29
Nov. 30th, 2021 09:40 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
chochiyo_samaFriday, November 19
There is not a lot to say about today. It has been sunny and pleasant enough to have the door open and to let in some fresh air. My grocery order was delivered and I got all of iit put away. Joni’s surgery has been rescheduled for ten days sooner.
The puppies are doing well at the rescue. Tammy sent me a link to a video of the puppies and the one hunting dog leaping and wrestling in a fenced in area—playing keep away and tug-o-war with an old glove. LOL. They are so cute. I wish I was physically able to take care of a dog. I’d love one to pieces. But, I will stick to cats, I guess.
Saturday, November 20
Nick from the Red Nose Lighting Company came at 9:30 this morning to talk to me about the possibility of decorating the exterior of my house. Sadly, the MINIMUM cost of decorating the house was $1,000. They do measure your house and have all of your lights custom made. They leave them up until February, and if any issues arise with the lights, they send a crew within 24-48 hours to fix the problems. When they take the lights down, they store them in plastic totes at their facility so they are ready to be redone the following year. As part of the $1,000, they would decorate my crab apple tree and wrap the railing of the deck with imitation evergreen and lights, hang three wreaths across the front of the deck, and hang a big lighted wreath in the peak of the garage. They’d also outline the picture window in colored lights. It would be beautiful, but I just cannot justify $1,000 for two months of pretty lights.
Not when I have so many more important, useful, and permanent improvements I need to make in my home. I want to paint the entire inside of my house, install a bath tub, build floor to ceiling book shelves in my office, and install a stairlift on the basement stairway. $1,000 is a drop in the bucket to all those improvements, but it is certainly a nice chunk of change to start with.
I am dedicating this winter to cleaning and organizing the house and getting rid of stuff I don’t use. And, of course, to saving money and doing research on the materials and labor providers I will need to make my improvements. Around April or May, I should be ready to commit to at least one of the projects. At this time, the thing I feel the most desire to do is painting the entire interior of the house. I hate the old-man-urine-yellow of my bedroom and bathroom, the milk chocolate diarrhea color of the laundry room, and the coppery brown and avocado green of the living room and kitchen. Ugh. All of the colors are dark and gloomy and depressing. I think everything would be brightened, including my mood and mental state, if I could get some decent colors on my walls.
Anyhow, I told Nick I just couldn’t afford it, and he was nice about it. We had a nice chat about how horrified we both were over the “not guilty” verdict in the Kyle Rittenhouse trial. Ugh. Murder two people and maim another and be hailed as a “hero” by the trumplican horde of lunatics? Disgusting. That nasty little vigilante was participating in his own “Purge” fantasy, and he will undoubtedly kill again, especially since he is being praised and pampered and paraded around the trumplican stages like a prize pony. He is just a younger version of George Zimmerman, slack jawed and dull eyed and filled with hate, violence, and entitlement.
At any rate, Nick and I parted as friends. Maybe someday, I will have a thousand dollars to squander on Christmas lights.
Lily wants to bring me a vegetarian gourmet pizza from Papa Murphy’s tomorrow to celebrate my birthday—that is my favorite pizza. So, I texted DeAnn and asked her if she would mind if we did not Zoom tomorrow. Then Lily can go straight from church to get the pizza and we can have it for lunch. No one in my family makes any sort of fuss over my birthday, so it is nice to actually have someone provide me with a birthday lunch!
The blue jays came out in force to eat the peanuts I laid out of the porch railings today. I’ll bet there were 6 or 7 of them wheeling around out there. The ungrateful devils pooped all over the railings, though. How rude!
A very small pecan pie was part of my grocery order this week, so I had a piece of that for my lunch along with some of the left over KFC I got after Mom’s appointment. I love pecan pie—it is my birthday treat to myself.
Sunday, November 21
Happy birthday to me. I am 67 now. Impossible to believe that I am so freaking old. Thank God I am still incredibly immature. Ha.
I got birthday text messages from all my siblings except Joni—she called. I also got a call from Dale Bishman. Dale was a high school friend of my dad. Every time he calls me, he tells me how much I remind him of his “long time friend, Roaring Jack.” That was my dad’s nickname in high school. Dale went into insurance in his youth and was our family’s insurance agent until he retired. Now his son Mike is our agent. Dale was very complimentary—told me he runs into my former students every now and then and that they speak highly of me. He told me about his kids’ current life situations and that his wife is in the nursing home now, in the memory care center. He told me he had bought a plot in the cemetery, ordered a monument, and was working on his obituary.
I said, “You have to stick around a lot longer, Dale!”
He replied, “I’m trying.”
This concerned me a little—there was something in his voice that made me feel like he might be battling something. He is in his 90s, so anything could happen. It will be a sad day when old Dale shuffles off his mortal coil. He is one of my biggest fans.
Before we said good-bye, I told him I loved him, and he got real quiet—I think I made him cry. Older folks get teary easily. Then he told me he loved me too. It makes me sad that so many of the mighty oaks of my youth have been laid low.
Lily came over with the pizza, a piece of the ice cream dessert she had made for her dinner party, and a birthday gift. She gave me a bag of cinnamon bears, a bag of pecans dipped in amaretto flavored chocolate, and a cute Christmas sweatshirt with the image of a little cat in a Christmas stocking. Very cute. We visited for a while. On her way out, she took a big bag of recycling and my small bag of living room garbage out to the bins. She also took the two boxes of chai tea latte for her Keurig which I had ordered for her through Target.com and some of the packing boxes I have saved for her.
After Lily left, I folded the clothes in the dryer and washed and dried another load. I washed my dishes then opened up some of the packages that came the other day. One was the Kish Song doll. She arrived in pristine condition. The others were some of the Christmas ornaments I had ordered from Michaels which were half price. I tidied up some random clutter while watching TV. Yellowstone is broadcasting new episodes again. I have lost interest in Fear the Walking Dead and never did get into the Walking Dead: World Beyond show.
On the whole, a pretty decent birthday. I did not eat the ice cream dessert today. I saved it for another day. I did eat another piece of the pecan pie while I was watching TV. For a cheap grocery store pie, it was pretty good.
Monday, November 22
The last of my laundry is now folded and put into the bedroom. Lily called me early this morning and asked me to help her compose a birthday/congratulatory message to her friend Julie. She is so unsure of herself and anxious about her spelling. I feel bad that she thinks she is stupid. She isn’t. I think she has an undiagnosed learning disability.
I ate the two pieces of leftover pizza for my lunch and had more pecan pie later in the day.
My new Christmas tree was delivered today. I am excited to unbox it and put it up. Probably will not do it until after Thanksgiving. I will have to see if I can get my brother or one of my good nephews to bring my ornaments up from the basement and start changing my dolls into their Christmas outfits. Maybe I will set some of them under the tree like they are waiting for Santa.
I talked to Tammy today and she said that Joni and Jeff had a huge fight. Joni is completely disgusted with him and looked online to research divorce law. She’s worried that he will be able to take half of her retirement and everything they own if she divorces him. I would rather lose half of everything I own than live in misery with an abusive, lazy, entitled asshole like him.
That’s about it for today.
Tuesday, November 23
I got a little more done today than I did yesterday. I cleaned the litter boxes, bagged up a bunch of recycling, and unboxed the Sheba moist cat food pods to put them in the bedroom where I feed my Peaches.
I ate the Schwan’s spaghetti individual microwave meal and the ice cream dessert Lily gave me for dinner. The spaghetti was okay—nothing special, but okay.
Tammy is coming down tomorrow to help Mom prepare for the family Thanksgiving celebration and, hopefully, catch LeeLee so he can be returned to his original owner. I have been planning to shut him out of the laundry room tonight or tomorrow so that he cannot vanish into all the hidey-holes in there and become unfindable. I am willing to keep him forever if we cannot catch him, but it breaks my heart to see how unhappy he is. Every night after he comes out of hiding, he roams the house crying. I suspect he is looking for Ollie. I am sure he is dying for some affection and love, but he just cannot get over his fear of me. I suppose eventually he would come around, but an 18 year old cat deserves nothing but love and happiness. I do know he enjoys his soft food.
All day long, my left arm/shoulder were killing me. Somehow, I had twisted it and nothing seemed to help. I finally just went to bed, hoping that I could sleep and whatever was wrong with it would resolve itself overnight.
Wednesday, November 24
Last night, after I went to bed, LeeLee came out of hiding, and I heard him crying in the living room. I jumped out of bed and waddled over to shut the door to the laundry room. I felt terrible locking him out since that is where he feels safe, but I kept telling myself that it was for his benefit—that it will be worth it when he is able to be with his original momma and his “brother” Ollie.
Whatever had caused my left arm/shoulder to hurt so much did resolve itself in the night. I think it was a spasm of some kind because it was nothing this morning.
Tammy and Mom came over in the early evening, and she was able to hunt LeeLee down—he was hiding under my bed. She brought Pedro’s old cage down and set it up with a rug, small litterbox, and food and water dishes. He did not struggle or fight, but he wasn’t happy about being in a cage. He will have to stay in there until she goes home tomorrow night. I felt just horrible for him. He cried and struggled to escape all night. I had to keep reminding myself that he will go home where he will feel safe and loved again.
Tammy put a couple lightbulbs into my ceiling fan/light fixture. All my bedroom bulbs were burned out.
When they left, I sent the box of my contributions to the Thanksgiving feast home with them--Three boxes of different crackers, a meat and cheese tray, a turtle cheesecake, and two jars of big green olives. Sending that with them means that I don’t have to attempt to carry it all.
Joni doesn’t feel well enough to come to Mom’s tomorrow, and Kim and her sons will not come because of their ridiculous paranoia and resentment. I am so sick of their shit.
Thursday, November 25
When I got up this morning, LeeLee had torn his cage to pieces. Everything but the litter box was upside down and he had pulled the blanket I covered the cage with half into the cage with himself. I put everything to rights in there, and the little shit rubbed his head and face against my hands, wanting petting. I petted him a lot and talked to him. He could have been having all that affection for weeks! But I think he was messing with me—trying to get me to let him out of the cage. I gave him more soft food and laid out some food and treats to send back with him. I don’t know if his original Momma spoils them as much as I have.
I brought my embroidered Christmas table runner that I have been working on along in case I needed to keep my hands busy. I also brought my bills, a notebook, and my wallet along. I wrote out my bills and filled out the questionnaire from Sequoia who does my winter snow removal and got them ready to mail. I had a nice long snuggle with Mojo whom I have not seen in ages. I love that little rat bastard cat.
Tammy’s husband Bert came with their daughter Sadie and her boyfriend Ben. Jack, Kari, Caleb, and Cora all came. Then there was me and Mom. We had a nice time—lots of good food. Tammy made the pumpkin pies, turkey and dressing, Mom made the ham, homemade buns, mashed potatoes, and gravy. Kari brought green bean casserole, an apple and pumpkin coffee cake, and scotcheroos. I provided raspberries, green olives, the meat and cheese tray, 3 kinds of crackers, and the turtle cheesecake. No one ate any of the cheesecake, but they loved the meat and cheese tray.
Of course, we were tortured by FOOTBALL all fucking day. I HATE football. Tammy’s husband Bert did a lot of little chores around the house and yard for Mom. Nothing too strenuous, but things that she has a hard time doing herself.
Erik spent the day with his mom and dad and came home about the time when the others were getting ready to go. Erik sat down near me and we had a very good conversation about the state of the world from the time he got home—around 4 pm—until I finally left at about 8 pm. I took home three of the homemade buns, a ziplock bag of ham, and a third of the cheese and meat tray. I divided it out into baggies for myself, Mom, and Erik. Erik put my bag of stuff into the car for me as it is very hard for me to get up and down the steps in Mom’s garage.
Mojo, the little shit, ran out of the house and out of the garage when I went out. Mom came out and hollered for him. He was ornery for a few minutes but then decided it was too dark and cold to be outside all night, so he came back in.
It was pitch dark when I got home. Tammy and Bert had taken LeeLee with them. I actually feel lonesome for him—even though I seldom even saw him. They met Heidi, who is his original Mom, in a Target parking lot. When they handed him off to her, he just melted into her arms and began to purr. I know it was the right thing to give him and Ollie back to her. Later, Tammy forwarded pictures of him snuggling with her and sleeping on her bed to me. He looks so relaxed and content. I am so glad for him.
Friday, November 26
Leftover buns and ham for lunch; leftover cheese and crackers for supper. An apple fritter for dessert.
Mom wanted Patrick’s address so she could send him a Christmas card and a gift certificate for $100 at Steve’s Meat Market (a locally famous butcher shop). That’s more than what she gives ME for Christmas, and I am her first born child. I texted him and asked for his address. He sent it right away. I called her and gave it to her. I did not mention my resentment of the fact that she gives him more than me. He is the former pastor of her church. I like Patrick. He is a super person.
The UPS guy dropped off two packages. One was two books and the Lego set for Atlas I ordered from Amazon and the other was the little zipper case of Dungeons and Dragons dice and a gaming headset for Amadeus. Now the only things left to arrive are the other Lego set for Atlas and the Noah’s ark bank for Ember. Then my responsibility portion for Lily’s great grandchildren’s Christmas presents is fulfilled.
I had a weird dream last night that I was moving into a house that I have never seen before in real life. But it was like I was moving in as a roommate, not into my own private home. I was checking out the room that would be mine. It was yellow, but a nice sunny yellow—not the old-man-pee yellow of my actual bedroom. My cat was there. I don’t think it was Peaches, though. I was tired and wanted to lie down on my bed, but when I looked at it, there was a very large brown bear flopped across the corner of the bed next to the headboard and the wall, sound asleep.
I told the cat who was staring at the bear, “Leave that thing alone.”
That’s really all I remember about the dream. The bear made me feel uneasy but I wasn’t really afraid of it. I always have such stupid dreams.
All day today, I have thought about LeeLee back with his human mom and his little orange brother and how happy he must be to be with them again. After all these weeks of being afraid and hiding all day long every day, now he can wander freely, sleep in his momma’s arms, wrestle with his brother, and feel at peace instead of like a kidnap victim. He will never understand that I only wanted the best for him.
Poor LeeLee. I hope the rest of his life is filled with love and peace.
Saturday, November 27
A large pile of stuff had sort of gathered around my recliner like a big drift of snow around a tree trunk in a blizzard. I sorted through all of it—some got put away; some got thrown away; some got recycled, and some got put into a bag to go with Lily the next time she stops in. There was an unopened package there that contained Mila’s Baby Sister’s Club books and a carton of Temptations cat treats.
In doing that, I discovered that the bills I had written out on Thanksgiving were not in my bag. I know exactly where they are. I had set them on the fireplace ledge next to the recliner I sat in on Thanksgiving Day. I called Mom to ask her to give them to Lily to mail for me the next time she brought Mom’s mail. There was no answer, so I figured she was either on the phone with someone else or was off galivanting around. She did not return my call.
I put away the basket of clean laundry from my last laundry day then made the last bun and remains of the leftover Thanksgiving ham into a sandwich, added a lettuce salad, and ate lunch. I am sad that I have no more ham. I would have liked to make a ham and cheese quiche. Oh, well.
Not much else happened today. I mainly watched TV, worked on catching up with this journal, and poked around on the internet.
Sunday, November 28
I filled my pill caddy and washed a load of laundry this morning before getting on the computer to Zoom with DeAnn. I had to call in two refill prescriptions of meds and one for my test strips. I need more lancets too, but I didn’t have the prescription number for that, and the pharmacy was not staffed that early. I will have to call back later.
Mom called while I was filling the pill caddy. She found the bills I had written out on Thanksgiving Day. She had not listened to the message I left her yesterday. She had gone to Jack’s house for supper. They made a hotdish of some kind out of the leftover turkey.
She said she’d pass them on to Lily to mail for me.
DeAnn and I had a good Zoom, though we really did not discuss anything in the chapter we were supposed to be studying. It was still a very good and motivational discussion. We discussed a lot of goals for ourselves, our homes, and our lives and reviewed some of the progress we have made so far.
After the Zoom, I worked on catching up on this journal, poked around on the internet, and watched a couple of movies. One was Regarding Henry with Harrison Ford and Annette Benning. It is a movie from the 90s. He looked so young! I remember renting this movie from the gas station when I lived in West Concord. In it, Harrison Ford plays a high-handed lawyer who is kind of an asshole. During a robbery at a convenience store, he gets shot in the head and basically has to relearn everything from walking to reading because of the damage done to his brain. It’s a redemption movie.
I didn’t eat much today. Just the last of the meat and cheese tray remains on crackers. I was hungry, but not hungry enough to cook anything or put on shoes and a bra and go out to buy anything.
I forgot about calling the pharmacy about the lancets until late in the afternoon. I tried, but the pharmacy was already closed, so I will have to call about them tomorrow.
Monday, November 29
After 9 am, I called the pharmacy and talked to the pharmacist about the lancets. He told me my drugs had already been picked up for delivery, but the test strips couldn’t be refilled till December 5 due to insurance. Also, they cannot be mailed since they would be rendered useless by the cold weather. So, I will have to see if either Lily or Jack will pick them up for me after the 5th. I told the pharmacist to just put the lancets with the strips rather than waste the money to mail them.
Today, I worked on the laundry, gathered and bagged up more recycling, washed my dishes, and cleaned some bad food out of the refrigerator. While I was washing the dishes, I baked a Marie Calendar chicken pot pie for my supper. I really like those chicken pot pies. Peaches enjoyed licking the leftover gravy on the bottom of the bowl too. I am going to have to order a couple more of those pies with my next grocery order. They are wonderful for a day when a person just doesn’t feel like cooking. They do take an hour to bake, though.
Rhonda came back with Lily after Thanksgiving. Apparently, they spent a lot of time going through a bunch of stuff that Lily has been wanting to deal with. I am so glad that Rhonda was willing to do that with her mother. Otherwise, I would have eventually helped her with it, and I think that is a task she should do with her children. Better them than me to get the blame if she has regrets about something she gave or threw away later.
Not much else of note happened today. I watched random mindless things on TV while working and poked around on the internet. Nothing too exciting found in either place.
no subject
Date: 2021-12-02 05:11 am (UTC)Any chance your embroidered Christmas runner will be done by Christmas this year?
I am way behind in my Christmas slippers because I haven't been able to knit for two weeks. If I was home I could knit the entire day and night while I watched TV.
I am still pissed that selfish woman didn't give the cat back to be with PeePee and Oliver. Such a selfish bitch.
I am home for two hours. Had to go to CVS to pick up yet another prescription. I talked to the lady about them delivering or mailing them to the house as it seemed I was there every three days. She mentioned Mr Petty and I told her he died. She said he seemed like such a nice young man. Sure, during the day when he was sober. I wonder if he was a bit high when he pulled that "petty" shit on me after his fucking brother LIED about me getting kicked out of the house. I wonder if my Dad was already losing his memory at that point. He certainly was by May.
I also had to pick up some groceries at Vons as we were out of mayo, bread and my Mother managed to spill an entire package of pasta from a Ziploc container. She said the lid just popped off. Bullshit, they screw on and off. She took the lid off and then dropped it. An entire box. Then I came to my house to bring in the trash cans which are still not emptied so I left them on the street. I see none of the others have been emptied either. I had to make a paypal payment on my laptop for some Steiff bears I ordered. I don't like to do that with my phone on an unsecure network and I don't know how secure my parent's network is. I had to come home anyway as my security cameras were out and I had to reboot the modem. All fine now so heading back. It was relaxing to be in my own house, even for just and hour or two.