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I woke up earlier than usual today as I wanted to watch three episodes of A Haunting on the Discovery Channel. I brought my sewing box out with me so I would not be just idling time watching that show, but it turned out that I had seen all three episodes before--more than once for each one. It was disappointing.
I fell asleep in the recliner during the first episode and woke up at around 10 am. I sewed a little bit, then fell asleep again and did not wake up until after noon. Mom made a moderately disparaging comment at that point, saying, "I don't know how you can sleep so much. I would be so grogging."
I said, "I think it is a defense mechanism. My mind does not want to deal with the situation I find myself in (unemployed, homeless, all my stuff either gone or shoved into a shed or stuffed into a room), so it makes me unconscious. When I am asleep I am not sad or depressed. I am not worried about money or how I will get to my rule of 90 or anything. I do not miss my students or my job when I am unconscious. So, I am happiest when I am feeling nothing at all."
She backed off then, as I think she really does understand how absolutely awful my life is to me right now.
Shortly after that, Bonnie, my therapist, called to set up an appointment with me for next Friday at 10 am. She asked me how I was doing and I told her that all I wanted to do was sleep. She made a sad noise, but told me not to worry about it too much right now--it was a very normal way of dealing with a personal disaster. She did also say that it cannot go on and on--but I think it is just that this is the first week of school with kids--and I am not there.
I passed on her remarks to my mom, who just accepted them--I think she IS trying.
Caleb rode his bike over here early in the afternoon and hung out most of the day. Kari and Cora came over around 3 pm to get the boxes of stuff that are going to the consignment shop. Cora decided to stay too. Mom had asked me if I would make a "cheesecake" as her cousins were coming over late this afternoon. I said sure.
This is not actually a cheesecake. It is a family dessert that is very simple to make and delicious. We have called it cheesecake for as long as I can remember. Finding out what cheesecake really was shocked me. I liked it, but I think I like our cheap family facsimile of it better.
It is very easy to make...
First, you melt a stick and a half of butter and combine it with a box of graham cracker crumbs and a tablespoon of sugar. Then, you pat a little over half of the crumbs in the bottom of a 9x12" cake pan. I usually rub the bottom and sides of the pan with one of the butter wrappers, just to make the crust easier to scoop out later. This is set aside.
Next, you take a package of jello--flavor of your choice--and dissolve it in a cup of boiling water. Stir it up till it is completely dissolved, then put that in the refrigerator to cool and jell.
In another bowl, combine a softened package of cream cheese, a cup of sugar, and a tsp of vanilla. Stir it up well. Set aside.
Now, you pour a can of very cold condensed milk into a mixing bowl and beat it until it is thick sort of stiff. It helps if you put the bowl and the beaters in the freezer for a while before this stage.
Combine the jello, cool and jelled, with the cream cheese mixture. Mix well.
Add this to the whipped condensed milk and stir until thoroughly combined. Pour this into the prepared crust.
Sprinkle the rest of the graham cracker crumb mixture onto the top of the dessert and place it in the refrigerator until it "sets."
It is delicious. You can make it "light" too, by using sugar free jello, low-fat cream cheese, and skim condensed milk. It tastes just as good as the regular, in my opinion.
Anyhow, Cora wanted to help me make the cheesecake, so I let her stir the jello into the hot water until it was dissolved. Then I let her stir the graham cracker crumb mixture and pat it into the cake pan. She was so serious about the whole thing. :)
I started the cream cheese and sugar because it is kind of hard to stir in the beginning. She held the spoon and I poured in the vanilla. Then I let her stir. She loved the taste of this mixture. I think she probably ate 1/3 cup of it. LOL.
I had to operate the hand mixer because it was just too heavy for her little hands.
She spread the crumbs on top with soooo much care.
Then we stuck it in the fridge and waited for it to chill.
I took a couple of pictures of her helping--but I haven't downloaded them from my camera yet.
Then I was forced to watch several episodes of Spongebob Squarepants. Ugh. After a while, she wanted some food, so I made her a peanut butter sandwich--no butter, crusts cut off. I ate the crusts. LOL. Waste not...
While she was eating her peanutbutter sandwich a damned little gnat landed on it, so she wouldn't eat any more of it.
Mom cut us each a piece of the cheesecake so she could taste it, but she didn't eat a bit of it. She didn't like the looks of it.
I was supposed to take her home at 6:30, but we didn't get out of the house until 6:45. So, she took her piece of cheesecake home for her momma.
Ingrid had texted me earlier, and I told her I would call her after I took my niece home. So, I sat in my mom's driveway and talked to her for a few minutes. She's been having a rocky week, taking care of her grandson quite a bit. Now, she is taking care of Nicky's dog.
Mom's cousins did not show up until well after 7 pm, but they had a nice visit. I had intended to be down in my lair before they got here, but I didn't get out fast enough. I didn't want to seem rude, running out of the room when they came in, but we had a nice chat. Lily and Jerry stopped in later for a cup of coffee and a piece of dessert. They all loved the dessert. I texted Kari to tell Cora that they all thanked her and said it was delicious. Cora giggled at the news.
Lily had some bad news from the Clinic. Apparently she has two tumors on her pancreas. She has to go in on Monday for a CT scan. I hope they are either benign or else that they are not tumors at all but some other little cyst or something.
Pancreatic cancer is a real nasty kind.
On a happier note, even though Franklin managed to pull his feeding tube out, he has been continuing to improve. He is eating a lot, able to defecate regularly, and is playful and loving.
Lily felt pretty bad about what the doctors had told her last night, and when Jerry woke up in the night, he discovered Franklin was cuddled next to Lily's torso, as snug and tight as he could get with his little head resting on her shoulder. Cats know and cats care when their master is upset.
Dogs do too. Animals are so much better than people.
Mom is going to the fair with Lily and Jerry tomorrow morning around 8:30. I want to get up and take a bath tomorrow morning, then run into Walmart in Owatonna to pick up some cat food, diet coke, and bottled water. I will probably add a little something to my chocolate stash as well, just to be sure I do not run out.
I emptied a large copy paper box today which contained my Barbie Bazaar magazines and some Nutshell News magazines. I don't care so much about the Nutshell News, but I do not want anything to happen to my Barbie Bazaars. I found some more fabric and a few more doll clothes that were already cut out but not fully sewn together--or even sewn together at all.
That's something I will have to work at. I hate half-finished projects everywhere.
That's it for me today--maybe some pictures tomorrow.
I fell asleep in the recliner during the first episode and woke up at around 10 am. I sewed a little bit, then fell asleep again and did not wake up until after noon. Mom made a moderately disparaging comment at that point, saying, "I don't know how you can sleep so much. I would be so grogging."
I said, "I think it is a defense mechanism. My mind does not want to deal with the situation I find myself in (unemployed, homeless, all my stuff either gone or shoved into a shed or stuffed into a room), so it makes me unconscious. When I am asleep I am not sad or depressed. I am not worried about money or how I will get to my rule of 90 or anything. I do not miss my students or my job when I am unconscious. So, I am happiest when I am feeling nothing at all."
She backed off then, as I think she really does understand how absolutely awful my life is to me right now.
Shortly after that, Bonnie, my therapist, called to set up an appointment with me for next Friday at 10 am. She asked me how I was doing and I told her that all I wanted to do was sleep. She made a sad noise, but told me not to worry about it too much right now--it was a very normal way of dealing with a personal disaster. She did also say that it cannot go on and on--but I think it is just that this is the first week of school with kids--and I am not there.
I passed on her remarks to my mom, who just accepted them--I think she IS trying.
Caleb rode his bike over here early in the afternoon and hung out most of the day. Kari and Cora came over around 3 pm to get the boxes of stuff that are going to the consignment shop. Cora decided to stay too. Mom had asked me if I would make a "cheesecake" as her cousins were coming over late this afternoon. I said sure.
This is not actually a cheesecake. It is a family dessert that is very simple to make and delicious. We have called it cheesecake for as long as I can remember. Finding out what cheesecake really was shocked me. I liked it, but I think I like our cheap family facsimile of it better.
It is very easy to make...
First, you melt a stick and a half of butter and combine it with a box of graham cracker crumbs and a tablespoon of sugar. Then, you pat a little over half of the crumbs in the bottom of a 9x12" cake pan. I usually rub the bottom and sides of the pan with one of the butter wrappers, just to make the crust easier to scoop out later. This is set aside.
Next, you take a package of jello--flavor of your choice--and dissolve it in a cup of boiling water. Stir it up till it is completely dissolved, then put that in the refrigerator to cool and jell.
In another bowl, combine a softened package of cream cheese, a cup of sugar, and a tsp of vanilla. Stir it up well. Set aside.
Now, you pour a can of very cold condensed milk into a mixing bowl and beat it until it is thick sort of stiff. It helps if you put the bowl and the beaters in the freezer for a while before this stage.
Combine the jello, cool and jelled, with the cream cheese mixture. Mix well.
Add this to the whipped condensed milk and stir until thoroughly combined. Pour this into the prepared crust.
Sprinkle the rest of the graham cracker crumb mixture onto the top of the dessert and place it in the refrigerator until it "sets."
It is delicious. You can make it "light" too, by using sugar free jello, low-fat cream cheese, and skim condensed milk. It tastes just as good as the regular, in my opinion.
Anyhow, Cora wanted to help me make the cheesecake, so I let her stir the jello into the hot water until it was dissolved. Then I let her stir the graham cracker crumb mixture and pat it into the cake pan. She was so serious about the whole thing. :)
I started the cream cheese and sugar because it is kind of hard to stir in the beginning. She held the spoon and I poured in the vanilla. Then I let her stir. She loved the taste of this mixture. I think she probably ate 1/3 cup of it. LOL.
I had to operate the hand mixer because it was just too heavy for her little hands.
She spread the crumbs on top with soooo much care.
Then we stuck it in the fridge and waited for it to chill.
I took a couple of pictures of her helping--but I haven't downloaded them from my camera yet.
Then I was forced to watch several episodes of Spongebob Squarepants. Ugh. After a while, she wanted some food, so I made her a peanut butter sandwich--no butter, crusts cut off. I ate the crusts. LOL. Waste not...
While she was eating her peanutbutter sandwich a damned little gnat landed on it, so she wouldn't eat any more of it.
Mom cut us each a piece of the cheesecake so she could taste it, but she didn't eat a bit of it. She didn't like the looks of it.
I was supposed to take her home at 6:30, but we didn't get out of the house until 6:45. So, she took her piece of cheesecake home for her momma.
Ingrid had texted me earlier, and I told her I would call her after I took my niece home. So, I sat in my mom's driveway and talked to her for a few minutes. She's been having a rocky week, taking care of her grandson quite a bit. Now, she is taking care of Nicky's dog.
Mom's cousins did not show up until well after 7 pm, but they had a nice visit. I had intended to be down in my lair before they got here, but I didn't get out fast enough. I didn't want to seem rude, running out of the room when they came in, but we had a nice chat. Lily and Jerry stopped in later for a cup of coffee and a piece of dessert. They all loved the dessert. I texted Kari to tell Cora that they all thanked her and said it was delicious. Cora giggled at the news.
Lily had some bad news from the Clinic. Apparently she has two tumors on her pancreas. She has to go in on Monday for a CT scan. I hope they are either benign or else that they are not tumors at all but some other little cyst or something.
Pancreatic cancer is a real nasty kind.
On a happier note, even though Franklin managed to pull his feeding tube out, he has been continuing to improve. He is eating a lot, able to defecate regularly, and is playful and loving.
Lily felt pretty bad about what the doctors had told her last night, and when Jerry woke up in the night, he discovered Franklin was cuddled next to Lily's torso, as snug and tight as he could get with his little head resting on her shoulder. Cats know and cats care when their master is upset.
Dogs do too. Animals are so much better than people.
Mom is going to the fair with Lily and Jerry tomorrow morning around 8:30. I want to get up and take a bath tomorrow morning, then run into Walmart in Owatonna to pick up some cat food, diet coke, and bottled water. I will probably add a little something to my chocolate stash as well, just to be sure I do not run out.
I emptied a large copy paper box today which contained my Barbie Bazaar magazines and some Nutshell News magazines. I don't care so much about the Nutshell News, but I do not want anything to happen to my Barbie Bazaars. I found some more fabric and a few more doll clothes that were already cut out but not fully sewn together--or even sewn together at all.
That's something I will have to work at. I hate half-finished projects everywhere.
That's it for me today--maybe some pictures tomorrow.
