![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Writer's Block: Fearsome
Feb. 7th, 2009 08:12 am[Error: unknown template qotd]I was afraid of a lot of things in childhood--but my greatest fear was that, in one of his fits of irrational rage, my father would kill me.
Or one of my siblings. I had many nightmares about my two youngest siblings, Tammy and Jack, when I was away at college--mostly about him killing them through being stupid and not careful. I remember one horrible one about him running them both over with a combine.
Ugh.
I can still see that one in my mind's eye--seeing them knocked over and sucked under--the look of terror in their eyes--the feeling of hopelessness I had, knowing that they were both dead--that there was nothing I could do.
I loved my dad--but omg--he needed therapy so bad in those days. His life could have been so much more satisfying for him if someone had helped him deal with whatever demons drove that rage and cruel streak.
Or one of my siblings. I had many nightmares about my two youngest siblings, Tammy and Jack, when I was away at college--mostly about him killing them through being stupid and not careful. I remember one horrible one about him running them both over with a combine.
Ugh.
I can still see that one in my mind's eye--seeing them knocked over and sucked under--the look of terror in their eyes--the feeling of hopelessness I had, knowing that they were both dead--that there was nothing I could do.
I loved my dad--but omg--he needed therapy so bad in those days. His life could have been so much more satisfying for him if someone had helped him deal with whatever demons drove that rage and cruel streak.
