I made a secondary journal--

One for the boring stuff of the daily grind--like my blood sugar and my menu and my daily chore list.

i am so anal.

Here it is if you want to look   http://cho-chiyo2.livejournal.com/

Trust me, it 's boring.

I'm wondering if I should put my notes from the self-improvement articles I get possibly useful information from on there too...instead of here.

I know I don't have a large group of fans--but is it interesting to you, or no?  I can put that stuff with the other.

Chapter Two: TA

Chapter Two  About Strokes:  Warm Fuzzies and Cold Pricklies

 

The way to gain a friend is to be one.

--Michelet

 

A stroke is any sort of act by someone else that lets you know they are there. 

 

What are strokes that make you feel good?

• Hugs
• A hand on the shoulder
• Gentle, humorous teasing
• Smiles
• Something nice said—like praise
• Someone laughing at my stories or responding with enjoyment to  my teaching.

 

Pleasant strokes are called “Warm Fuzzies” because they make you feel good.  Unpleasant strokes are called “Cold Pricklies” because they do not feel good.

 

The best strokes are “freebies.”  These are the strokes you get from people who are important to you just for being. 

 

Some people think the only way to get Warm Fuzzies is to earn them. 

 

Another way to get strokes is to ask for them.

 

Strokes are vital to your physical and mental health and you need them every day to be healthy and happy.

 

Marasmus is the deterioration or shriveling of the spinal cord due to lack of stroking.  Babies left untouched seemed to give up wanting to live and some stopped living.

 

My Favorite Warm Fuzzy is   ….  Seeing in someone’s eyes—by the warmth or by the little crinkle in the eyes when they look at you—that they like/love/respect/enjoy me.

 

Cold Pricklies are negative or unpleasant strokes, but they keep us alive if we’re not getting Warm Fuzzies.  Any stroke is better than no stroke.

 

Have you ever given Cold Pricklies?  What happened?

 

Of course—hasn’t everyone?  The person getting them either felt bad or got mad.  It didn’t do the relationship any good.

 

Have you ever done anything to earn Cold Pricklies?

 

Of course—hasn’t everyone?  I don’t know that I did it consciously, however. 

 

Everyone wants strokes, so the more strokes you give other people, the more you will get.

 

Exercises:

 

How do you get your strokes?

It seems that they come simply as a result of living—people just do or say things that either feel good or not.

 

What kind do you get the most?

Depends on my environment.  From my school environment I get tons of good ones.  From my family—not so much—although occasionally my nieces and nephews shower me with love.

 

From whom?

Students,  colleagues, friends, siblings, nieces and nephews.

 

Who do you like getting strokes from? 

Pretty much anyone.  Anyone whom I feel is sincere in giving them, that is.  Insincere or over-the-top people tend to make me feel disgusted.  Jay is especially good at passing out warm fuzzy strokes.

 

How come?

Because it is good to feel appreciated and loved.  And Jay is always sincere and loving when he passes out a warm fuzzy. 

 

What do you do to get them?

Basically, work my ass off and be nice to people.

 

1.         What is a stroke?

            A stroke is a form of recognition and/or acknowledgment.

2.         Why do we need strokes?

            Strokes help us to feel important and worthy of being alive.  People don’t see much point to living if they never get a stroke from anyone else.

3.         What kinds of strokes are there?

            Strokes can be positive or negative.

4.         What is a free stroke?

            A free stroke is one you get just because you exist—you don’t have to do anything  to earn it.

5.         Tell how to earn strokes.

            Well, just doing anything that people like or appreciate will get you positive strokes.  Being “naughty” or annoying will get you negative strokes.  Also, you can just ASK for a stroke if you feel you need one.

6.         Give somebody a warm fuzzy.

            I give them all the time.  I am good at finding ways to give other people warm fuzzies.

7.         Are all strokes pleasant?

            No.

8.         What is a Cold Prickly?  Why do you sometimes seek them when they feel bad?

            A Cold Prickly is a negative stroke—it can be being hollered at or hit.  We seek them because any attention is better than no attention.

9.         What will probably happen to you if you give lots of strokes?

            You will probably get lots of strokes in return.

10.       What is a Prinz?

            It’s Freedian term for Prince or Princess—I assume to make people feel special.

 

Exercises in Stroking

 

1.         Tell someone something nice about himself and watch him smile—you’ll be stroking his Child.

 

2.         Call five people by their names today—people that you don’t really know—and watch what happens when you say their name.

 

3.         Get four or five people to call you by YOUR name.

 

4.         Touch some people that you like and get them to touch you.

 

Actually, I am pretty good at doing all these things as a result of my teaching job.  I guess I need to work on it more in my “real” life.