Parallel Parking? I duz it.

I forgot to mention that on the 14th, there were no parking places anywhere near the clinic door--except for one which required parallel parking.  I have feared and dreaded and avoided parallel parking all my life.  But my knees are too bad  to walk for three or four blocks, so I decided to try it.  Nothing ventured and all that crap.

Well, I parallel parkied like I'd been doing it all my life and twice on Sunday.   I was even the perfect distance from the curb. 

Another talent discovered.  Wow.

You know what I think did the trick?  Driving those silly electric cart things at Walmart.  I think it improved my mental abilities to handle spacial elements while operating a vehicle.  And the learning transferred from the electric cart to my car. 

At any rate, I am grateful.

 

(no subject)

The days run together in my head.

If I don't post at least every third day or so, everything that is going on in my life sort of fades into fuzzy shadows.

On Wednesday, June 15, I had an appointment to meet with Jay at 10 am.  I arrived almost on the dot, but he was in the office talking to Laurie.  He said he would finish up with her and come down to my room "in a couple of minutes."

About an hour and a half later, he came down and basically confirmed my suspicions that I will be left to twist in the wind.  If the board agrees, I will get insurance coverage--but that is a mighty BIG "if."  I won't know until sometime in July when the board meets again.  The conversation was basically that he was going to try to get the medical insurance for me--but that if "[I] wasn't prepared for retirement, that was on [me]." 

So much for, "You aren't alone in this like you would have been at Triton.  We'll be here for you, helping you every step of the way." 

Both Jay and Susan want me to retire on disability.  However, I fucking do not want to retire on disability.  Immediately, I would become persona non grata.  I would be nobody, allowed to do nothing.  I'd just be sitting around waiting to die, basically.  Fuck that.  I am far too young and full of promise and ability to cash in my chips.

Jay rejected the idea of my being a para for 2 years and 37 days on the grounds that being a para was "bitch work" and why would I want to do "bitch work."  Well, the obvious reason is that I could apply the PERA to my TRA and retire with a fully met rule of 90 pension with no penalties.  Also, the school would get me and my 30 ytears of expertise and my excellent rapport with the kids for half of what they have been paying me.  It sounded win-win to me, but Jay asked how he would explain it to Ryan who was cut as a para.  I kind of think Ryan would be okay with me having the job--knowing my situation.

So, as usual, I am completely on my own, twisting in the wind--cheated out of the retirement I have worked so hard for--and not even a card of thanks or a shout out at graduation for best wishes in my uncertain future.

The funny thing is, I do not feel angry.  I feel terribly, terribly hurt and cheated.  I feel I deserved better than this.  Much better.  And I feel like no one really gives a shit.  I felt like I was a bother and an annoyance while I was talking to Jay--like I should just let go of the last vestige of hope and just blow way in the breeze.  Adios.  And as soon as my dried up husk tumbled into a ditch, I would be forgotten entirely. 

Such is my fate, I guess.

It makes me feel a little bitter.  But sadly, not at all surprised.

It just kills me that I got SOOOO CLOSE to being able to retire legally and honorably and had it ripped out from under me without a second thought.

I had planned to see X-Men after seeing Jay, but since he was so late in meeting with me, it was too late to see the movie.  I had an appointment with my therapist in the early afternoon.  I discussed my conversation with Jay with her.   It didn't help much.

The next day I had an appointment with my doctor.  My blood sugar was still not great.  My blood pressure was really good.  She felt like I was in a much better place mentally than I had been the last time I saw her.  She upped my diabetes med.  Hopefully once the stress of moving and getting rid of all  my stuff is done, I can focus on eating better and getting my health in order.

After I left her office, I drove to Rochester to see the X-Men, but the projector was broken, so I saw Super 8 instead.  It was okay--but the monster was lame.  The guy who played the dad was the guy from Early Edition, a series that was on a long time ago.  I always liked him.

On Friday, I went to see Charlotte's Web at the Little Theatre of Owatonna.  It was so cute.  The spider costumes were awesome, and the baby spiders at the end were adorable. 
 

DeAnn and I saw X-Men last week in Rochester.  It was excellent--a very satisfying movie.

I have been to mom's two or three times with carloads of stuff.  The last trip I brought two huge suitcases stuffed full of fabric along with two or three Walmart bags stuffed with fabric also.  I also brought one of my desk chairs on wheels.  The fabric is now in two totes and two laundry baskets in the closet.  Next trip, I hope to bring some of my 3-drawer Sterlite containers so that I can organize it.

I sorted through all the fabric at home and put a bunch of it in white garbage bags to be gotten rid of.  I have four white kitchen-sized garbage bags full of rejected fabric right now.  I will probably have at least two more before I am done going through stuff. 

Last Saturday, Ingrid and I went to see The Green Lantern.  It was much better than I expected.  We did not see it in 3-D. 

Yesterday, Ingrid and her husband Jim had me over for lunch.  New York strip, baked potatoes, zucchini and tomatoes and onions grilled in foil, and a cranberry vinigrette salad with spring greens.  Everything was delicious.  I played with their puppy Missy, a papillion until she collapsed in a heap of happy exhaustion.  She is a cute little doggie. 

Today, I felt groggy and out of sorts, so I slept in for a long, long time.  I can't do this tomorrow as I have an appointment with my therapist at 1.  I also have the stuff to make tator tot hot dish, so I'd like to get that done in the morning--perhaps bake some cookies as well.  I'd also like to get the kitchen cleaned up--it's looking cluttered and grungy again.  The living room and dining room could use a good vacuuming again as well.

I took some pictures of the way my underground lair is coming along.  I ill put them in my next post if I can get Livejournal to cooperate with me.