i think I got a message from Komet this morning.

[chochiyo_sama]

I've been feeling very sad about Komet--especially about taking her to the vet--thinking  that maybe she felt betrayed  by me.  Worrying that she died wondering why her mommy was letting these bad people torture her and kill her....

But this morning, when I woke up, i just lay in bed for a while, and suddenly I became aware of a soft noise--and what it sounded like was a purring, right next to me, where my sweet girl usually slept.  She always liked to snuggle right up next to me at night on my side.  Generally she liked to wedge her little butt right into my armpit and lay between my arm and my side.  She liked to put her chin in the palm of my hand and nuzzle my palm or she liked to roll onto her back and let me scritch her tummy as she purred.

I gradually became aware of the purring noise...and it kept going and going.  It was not the furnace.  The TV was off.  the computer was off.  really, nothing was on because I was still in bed and was just lying there.

It was soft but discernable, and it was definitely a purr, and I definitely was not dreaming as i was definitely awake.  The purring noise went on and on, and i just lay there listening to it.  It kept going until I was forced by my full bladder and my need to get ready for school to get up.

I heard it until I left the room to go to the bathroom, then it stopped.  i didn't see or feel anything else.

When I was in the bathroom, i said out loud, "I love you, sweet heart.  You are such a good, good girl.  don't worry about your momma.  i'm going to be alright.  You have fun demolishing all the q-tips in heaven.  i love you so much."

I don't know if it was really her or if I was having a grief induced hallucination,  but i am going to choose  to believe that she was really there in her spirit form, assuring me that she is okay and that she isn't holding a grudge.

My baby.  i miss her so much.

The lucky angels can snuggle her now....and rub her pretty white tummy, and giggle at her funny little nose.

Comments

Believe.

[the_godiva]

Trixie Koontz came back as a butterfly to Dean Koontz and his wife.

There are other reports of beloved pets coming back to reassure their owners that they love them and they are fine.

Caesar never did.

Yes. That Dean Koontz.

[the_godiva]

"Finally, I must tell you what happened three weeks after we lost our wonderful girl. Each Saturday, when 2:00 in the afternoon approached--Trixie passed shortly after 2:00--neither Gerda nor I could bear to do anything mundane. We walked together, hand in hand, around these two and a half acres that Trixie had loved, visiting all her favorite places. Three weeks to the minute after Trixie died, as we were walking the larger lawn, a brilliant golden butterfly swooped down out of a pepper tree. Now, friends, this was no butterfly like we had ever seen before--or since. It was big, bigger than my hand, and a bright gold, not yellow. It flew around our heads three or four times, brushing our faces, our hair, as no butterfly, in our experience, has ever before done. Then it swooped back up past the pepper tree and vanished into the sky. Gerda, who is the most levelheaded person I have ever known, said at once, "Was that Trixie?" and without hesitation, I said, "Yeah. It was."

We didn't say another word about the experience until later, near bedtime, when we both commented on the incredible thickness of the butterfly's wings, which were too thick to have been aerodynamic. Gerda remembered them as being "almost edged in a neon rope," and to me they had seemed to be like stained glass with a leaded edge. No landscaper who works here has ever before or since seen such a butterfly, nor have we; and it danced about our heads at the very minute that Trixie had died three weeks earlier. Skeptics will wince, and I feel sorry for them. I will always believe that our girl wanted to let us know that the intensity of our grief was not appropriate, that she was all right. In sharing this story with friends, I have heard of others who, after losing a particularly beloved dog, had uncanny experiences quite different from ours but which also seemed to be intended to tell them that the spirit of their dog somehow lived on.


— Dean Koontz, October 2007"

http://www.deankoontz.com/trixie/archive/trixies-shadow.php

Re: Yes. That Dean Koontz.

[chochiyo-sama.livejournal.com]

That is so cool.

I do believe they survive past the death of the body. Their souls are too pure not to survive.

I am sure that Cesar checks on you--he just does it quietly.

[polarisdib.livejournal.com]

I'm really sorry you've lost your cat. I couldn't comment as such before, because there's just been too much bleak stuff right now and I just couldn't process it at the time. But I figure condolences are helpful, and your catlessness reflects one of my current greatest fears, and that is that I could lose my own catness. There has just been too much loss lately. Too much.

--DiB

[chochiyo-sama.livejournal.com]

Thank you. I miss her very much. My bed is very cold and lonely now.